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The table shows the data about music enrollees in Australia between 2000 and 2006

The table shows the data about music enrollees in Australia between 2000 and 2006 VyqeA
The table illustrates the breakdown of music applicants by gender in an Australian universities over a six-year period, with the pie chart shows the further job preferences after graduation. Overall, it is clear that females' trend prevail men's almost every year. As we can see, in 2000 the percentage of male students was the highest for man proportion, but had the same rates with women enrolees, at 20%, whereas in 2001 males incentives declined by 5%. In 2001 more women decided to be musicians than men( 15% and 25% relatively). Between 2002 and 2003 the correlation between genders stayed the same, only a number of female enrolees has increased slightly by 5%. The lowest result was gained by males in 2004, at mere 10%, while female applicants comprised a half of all music freshman. In contrast, both trends did increase insignificantly in 2005 year (15% of men and 55% for women respectively). the highest proportion of enrolled students accounted to hefty 60% of females in 2006 and males' rate was only a third of females. To conclude, the data from the pie chart indicates that it was unlikely to stay interested in music for women.
The table illustrates the breakdown of music applicants by gender in an Australian universities over a six-year period, with the pie chart
shows
the
further
job preferences after graduation.
Overall
, it is
clear
that females' trend prevail
men
's almost every year. As we can
see
, in 2000 the percentage of male students was the highest for
man
proportion,
but
had the same rates with
women
enrolees
, at 20%, whereas in 2001 males incentives declined by 5%. In 2001 more
women
decided to be musicians than
men
(
15% and 25%
relatively
). Between 2002 and 2003 the correlation between genders stayed the same,
only
a number of
female
enrolees
has increased
slightly
by 5%. The lowest result
was gained
by males in 2004, at mere 10%, while
female
applicants comprised a half of all music freshman.
In contrast
, both trends did increase
insignificantly
in 2005 year (15% of
men
and 55% for
women
respectively
).
the
highest proportion of enrolled students accounted to hefty 60% of
females
in 2006 and males' rate was
only
a third of
females
.
To conclude
, the data from the pie chart indicates that it was unlikely to stay interested in music for
women
.
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IELTS academic The table shows the data about music enrollees in Australia between 2000 and 2006

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
195 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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