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The bar chart shows population of the world's percentage of 4 countries

The bar chart shows population of the world's percentage of 4 countries 30rob
The bar chart illustrates 4 countries’ that are India, China, the United State of America, and Japan population’ portion are in the world information in 1950, 2003, and 2050. Overall, China has the most people in the other three countries. In contrast, Japanese people are less than in bar chart’s given 4 states. It can be seen, Chinese people slightly are declining from 20% to 15% in these periods of time, while in 1950 Chinese people were approximately quarter of world’s population. In addition, the American community will be around 7% during hundred years. Japan’s public dramatically will drop to 2 portions of the sum number of the world’s people. Just one country’s people are growing speedily until almost 20% of whole the world’s people.
The bar chart illustrates 4 countries’ that are India, China, the United State of America, and Japan population’ portion are in the
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world
information in 1950, 2003, and 2050.

Overall
, China has the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the other three countries.
In contrast
, Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less than in bar chart’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
4 states.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
slightly
are declining from 20% to 15% in these periods of time, while in 1950 Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were approximately quarter of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
population.
In addition
, the American community will be around 7% during
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
years. Japan’s public
dramatically
will drop to 2 portions of the sum number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
one country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are growing
speedily
until almost 20% of whole the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
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IELTS academic The bar chart shows population of the world's percentage of 4 countries

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
125 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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