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The table shows number of people that remain undernourished around the world from 2000 to 2009

The table shows number of people that remain undernourished around the world from 2000 to 2009 pKeBD
The presented table delineate the individual that remain straved in the world wide between 2000 to 2009, whereas the pie chart depicts the price of rice and wheat in the same year all around the world Overall, it is explicit from the table that the high level of undernourished masses from first year till final year increased significantly. On the other hand, price of rice and wheat were same in the initial year but with some certain fluctuations the rate of wheat increased over the given period. It can be inferred from the table that in year 2000 number of undernourished masses were 857 and in next two years figure increased with five millions. In addition, in 2004 number of folks who were undernourished were 873 and in 2006 were three millions that was more than before. Furthermore, in 2008, number of people were 924 millions and in 2009 they were 1024 millions. Paradoxically, in the pie chart price of grains in inital year were same with 200$ per tonne in year 2000. After this, rate of wheat increased in 2002 with 400$ per tonne but the cost of rice remain still till 2004 with same tonnes. However, the price of wheat decreased a little bit till 2006 and then increased dramatically with avoidable fluctuations approximately 1100 tonne over the given period whares the price of rice increased with fluctuations till the final year with fluctuations till the final year with 900$ per tonne.
The presented table delineate the individual that remain
Possible spelling mistake found.
straved
in the
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 2000 and 2009".
between 2000 to 2009
, whereas the pie chart depicts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wheat
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
all around the world
Overall
, it is explicit from the table that the high level of undernourished masses from
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
till final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
significantly
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wheat
were same in the initial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fluctuations
the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wheat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period. It can
be inferred
from the table that in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000 number of undernourished masses were 857 and in
next
two years figure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
with five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.
In addition
, in 2004 number of folks who
were undernourished
were 873 and in 2006 were three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
that was more than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
Furthermore
, in 2008, number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were 924
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
and in 2009 they were 1024
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
millions
.
Paradoxically
, in the pie chart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of grains in
Possible spelling mistake found.
inital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
were same with
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$200".
200$
per tonne in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
2000. After this, rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wheat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
in 2002 with
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$400".
400$
per tonne
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
remain
still
till 2004 with same tonnes.
However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wheat
decreased a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
till 2006 and then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
dramatically
with avoidable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fluctuations
approximately 1100
Possible agreement error. The noun 'tonne' seems to be countable, so consider using: "tonnes".
tonne
over the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period
Possible spelling mistake found.
whares
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increased
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fluctuations
till the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fluctuations
till the final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
with
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$900".
900$
per tonne.
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IELTS academic The table shows number of people that remain undernourished around the world from 2000 to 2009

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
244 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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