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The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011

The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011 MoQP9
The table illustrates department stores and online stores in terms of the quantity of businesses, profit, sales revenue and the growth in Australia in 2011. It is clear that there were increases in department stores and online stores in this year. It is also noted that the figures for four sectors in online stores were higher than those in department stores. In 2011, the number of businesses in online stores stood at 368 stores, which was around six times as high as those in department stores. The profit which was turned by online stores was 863 AUD dollars, while the figure for the profit of department stores was lower, at 807 AUD dollars. At the same time, the sales revenue which was earned by online stores accounted for 13400 AUD dollars, compared to 12700 AUD dollars from the sales revenue of department stores. The increase of online businesses was 0. 6%, which was 0. 2% higher than the growth of department stores.
The table illustrates
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department
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stores
and
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online
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stores
in terms of the quantity of businesses, profit, sales revenue and the growth in Australia in 2011.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there were increases in
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department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and
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online
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stores
in this year. It is
also
noted that the figures for four sectors in
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
were higher than those in
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department
stores.

In 2011, the number of businesses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
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stores
stood at 368
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stores
, which was around six times as high as those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. The profit which
was turned
by
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online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
was 863 AUD dollars, while the figure for the profit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
was lower, at 807 AUD dollars.

At the same time, the sales revenue which
was earned
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
accounted for 13400 AUD dollars, compared to 12700 AUD dollars from the sales revenue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. The increase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
businesses was 0. 6%, which was 0. 2% higher than the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
department
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
.
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IELTS academic The table shows information about department stores and online stores in Australia in 2011

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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