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The table shows data on pupils attending 4 secondary school types

The table shows data on pupils attending 4 secondary school types RV2WQ
In 2000, out of 4 types of school, it is remarkable that Voluntary controlled Schools had the most students, at 5. 2 million. This number was higher than the total number of other types of school s’ students. Beside, Grammar Schools had 2. 4 million of students, which was double of that of Community Schools and Specialist school. In the next decade, Community schools, one of school types which had the lowest students in 2002, witnessed a dramatically increase of 4. 6 millions in the number of individuals participating in. By contrast, that of Voluntary controlled Schools saw a dove of 3. 2 millions. Likewise, the figure for Specialist Schools decreased steadily at 0. 1 million per 5 year. Beside, the number of students who attended in Grammar schools in 2000 was double the number in 2010.
In 2000, out of 4 types of
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school
, it is remarkable that Voluntary controlled
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Schools
had the most
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students
, at 5. 2
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million
. This
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number
was higher than the total
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number
of other types of
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school
s’
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students
. Beside, Grammar
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Schools
had 2. 4
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million
of
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students
, which was double of that of Community
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Schools
and Specialist school.

In the
next
decade, Community
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schools
, one of
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school
types which had the lowest
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students
in 2002, witnessed a
You used an adverb ('dramatically') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('increase') instead of another adjective.
dramatically increase
of 4. 6
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millions
in the
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number
of individuals participating in. By contrast, that of Voluntary controlled
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Schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a dove of 3. 2
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millions
.
Likewise
, the figure for Specialist
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Schools
decreased
steadily
at 0. 1
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million
per 5 year. Beside, the
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number
of
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students
who attended in Grammar
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schools
in 2000 was double the
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number
in 2010.
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IELTS academic The table shows data on pupils attending 4 secondary school types

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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