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the table show data about the amount of television watched by children in diffrent countries (hours a day) and also average academic achievement of people in these countries (% of people completing each level)

the table show data about the amount of television watched by children in diffrent countries (hours a day) and also average academic achievement of people in these countries (% of people completing each level) 6gGW
The tables reveal a number of daily TV use in various country, plus a performance of completing 3 academic levels of education. Regarding hours of tv watching, USA, Canada, and the UK have the highest hours at 4, after that, Italy and China the next highest with 3, Then, Brazil and India stand each 2, and finally Malta and UEA only 1 hour a day respectively. Turning to academic proportion, begin with the lowest levels (school) Malta, Canada, and Italy have a perfect score (100%), followed by all countries with the 90's score, except India only the country with 80%. Moreover in high school, divided by range, malta still remains a perfect score (100%), to level 90's (Italy, Canada, UEA), and the 80's (UK, USA, Brazil). In terms of highest academic level, UK has the highest completion percentage by 39%, tracked by Canada with 32%, then (Italy, China, AND USA) are in the mid range of 20's, and finally, the lower group comprised of UAE and Malta (18% and 19% respectively) and india the lowest percentage with 12%. In conclusion, It is noticeable if the use of tv per day in various countries does not influence academic completion at the university level.
The tables reveal a number of daily TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in various
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country
, plus a performance of completing 3
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academic
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levels
of education.

Regarding hours of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
watching, USA, Canada, and the UK have the highest hours at 4, after that, Italy and China the
next
highest with 3, Then, Brazil and India stand each 2, and
finally
Malta and
Possible spelling mistake found.
UEA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1 hour a day
respectively
.

Turning to
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academic
proportion,
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begin
with the lowest
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levels
(school) Malta, Canada, and Italy have a perfect score (100%), followed by all
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countries
with the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90's
score, except India
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only
the
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country
with 80%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
in high school, divided by range,
Possible spelling mistake found.
malta
still
remains a perfect score (100%), to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "90s".
90's
(Italy, Canada,
Possible spelling mistake found.
UEA
), and the
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "80s".
80's
(UK, USA, Brazil). In terms of
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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academic
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level
, UK has the highest completion percentage by 39%,
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tracked
by Canada with 32%, then (Italy, China, AND USA) are in the mid range of
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "20s".
20's
, and
finally
, the lower
Did you mean "group composed of"?
group comprised of
UAE and Malta (18% and 19%
respectively
) and
Possible spelling mistake found.
india
the lowest percentage with 12%.

In conclusion
, It is noticeable if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
per day in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
does not influence
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academic
completion at the university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
.
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IELTS academic the table show data about the amount of television watched by children in diffrent countries (hours a day) and also average academic achievement of people in these countries (% of people completing each level)

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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