Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.

The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000. 6gE3
The rendered bar graph depict the information about the proportion of people lived in United states which aged 65 and more from 1900 to 2000. To commence with, the figures were increasing in whole century. It can be clearly seen that 2. 9 percent of 65-74 aged group masses were recorded in 1900 which was continuously rose in next five decades. These figures were noted similar in 1960 whereas it was started to inclined after 1970 and stood at 7. 3 percent in 1990. After that, the population was made 6. 5 percent in last decades. Moving ahead, the ratio of people 75 to 84 year old accounted 1% to 2. 2% in the year between 1900 to 1950. Furthermore, this number was made up 4. 4 percent in the last decade. During the four decades, the proportion of folks over 85 year was remained similar. On the contrary, these figures were inclined after 1930 and stood at 1. 5 percent in 2000. A myopic look at graph, makes its conspicous that the 65 to 74 years old individuals were the highest in percentage among all elderly Americans.
The rendered bar graph depict the information about the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in
The proper noun "United States" needs to be capitalized.
United states
which aged 65 and more from 1900 to 2000.

To commence with, the figures were increasing in whole century. It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that 2. 9
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of 65-74 aged group masses
were recorded
in 1900 which was
continuously
Consider using a past participle here: "risen".
rose
in
next
five decades. These figures
were noted
similar in 1960 whereas it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to inclined after 1970 and stood at 7. 3
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1990. After that, the population
was made
6. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in last decades.

Moving ahead, the ratio of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
75 to 84
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
accounted 1% to 2. 2% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
Use "between" + "and" not "to." Try this: "between 1900 and 1950".
between 1900 to 1950
.
Furthermore
, this number
was made
up 4. 4
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the last decade. During the four decades, the proportion of folks over 85
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
was remained
similar.
On the contrary
, these figures
were inclined
after 1930 and stood at 1. 5
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 2000.

A myopic look at graph,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
its
Possible spelling mistake found.
conspicous
that the 65 to 74 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
individuals were the highest in percentage among all elderly Americans.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The chart below shows the percentage of total US population aged 65 and over between 1900 and 2000.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts