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The table indicates the statistic in the number of foreign visitors among 8 countries during the period between 2009 and 2010.

The table indicates the statistic in the number of foreign visitors among 8 countries during the period between 2009 and 2010. 96jxp
The table indicates the statistic in the number of foreign visitors among 8 countries during the period between 2009 and 2010. In general, the figure of international visitors in most of nations rose positively with the exception of the proportion of tourists in Hong Kong decreasing minimaly and France still remaining stable. While Turkey, China and Germany had an enormous increase in the statistics, the rest of countries just grew insignificantly. According to Germany, the nation with the highest proportion of international visitors by 23 million people in 2010 and the changes accounted for 109%. Turkey and China were witnessed the similar quantity of tourists in 2010 by 45 million people and the considerable changes, rougly 33% and 55%, respectively. The number of global tourists in some European countries such as Spain, the UK and Italy was seen a minimal figure with tiny change at around 1, 8%, 3, 6%, 2, 3%, subsequently. Foreign visitors in America registered an inconsiderable increase of 1 million from 2009 to 2010 and the change just approximately 1, 5%. France still maintained the same level in the number of tourists compared to the previous year without change. Hong Kong is the only countries that declined slightly in the quantity of international arrivals by 11 million in 2010 and the negative change at 11%.
The table indicates the statistic in the number of foreign
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visitors
among 8
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countries
during the period between 2009 and 2010.

In general
, the figure of international
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visitors
in
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the nations") or simply say "most nations".
most of nations
rose
positively
Consider using "except" or "except for"
with the exception of
the proportion of
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tourists
in Hong Kong decreasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
minimaly
and France
still
remaining stable. While Turkey, China and Germany had an enormous increase in the statistics, the rest of
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countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
grew
insignificantly
.

According to Germany, the nation with the highest proportion of international
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visitors
by 23
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2010 and the
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changes
accounted for 109%. Turkey and China
were witnessed
the similar quantity of
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tourists
in 2010 by 45
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million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the considerable
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changes
,
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rougly
33% and 55%,
respectively
. The number of global
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tourists
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
European
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countries
such as Spain, the UK and Italy was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a minimal figure with tiny
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change
at around 1, 8%, 3, 6%, 2, 3%,
subsequently
.

Foreign
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visitors
in America registered an inconsiderable increase of 1
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million
from 2009 to 2010 and the
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change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
approximately 1, 5%. France
still
maintained the same level in the number of
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tourists
compared to the previous year without
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change
. Hong Kong is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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countries
that declined
slightly
in the quantity of international arrivals by 11
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million
in 2010 and the
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negative
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change
at 11%.
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IELTS academic The table indicates the statistic in the number of foreign visitors among 8 countries during the period between 2009 and 2010.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
219 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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