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The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of energy consumption for various purposes and the amount of greenhouse gas released by an Australian family.

The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of energy consumption for various purposes and the amount of greenhouse gas released by an Australian family. E75yM
The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of energy consumption for various purposes and the amount of greenhouse gas released by an Australian family. Overall, heating is the major use and water heating is the main reason that creates greenhouse gas in an Australian household. The energy consumption for heating which the biggest part of the chart accounts for 42%. The second major purpose is water heating that makes up for three-tenths of the total energy use. Other appliances only comprise a quarter of the chart. In the meantime, refrigeration, lighting and cooling account for a trivial proportion of 7%, 4% and 2%, respectively. Water heating and other appliances make up 32% and 28%, respectively, become the main causes of gas emissions. In contrast, the percentage of heating and refrigeration are lower, standing at about 15% each. The rest of the proportion belongs to cooling and lighting with 3% and 7%.
The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of energy consumption for various purposes and the amount of greenhouse gas released by an Australian family.

Overall
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is the major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
is the main reason that creates greenhouse gas in an Australian household.

The energy consumption for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
which the biggest part of the chart accounts for 42%. The second major purpose is water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
up for three-tenths of the total energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Other appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
comprise a quarter of the chart. In the meantime, refrigeration, lighting and cooling account for a trivial proportion of 7%, 4% and 2%,
respectively
.

Water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and other appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
up 32% and 28%,
respectively
, become the main causes of gas emissions.
In contrast
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
heating
and refrigeration are lower, standing at about 15% each. The rest of the proportion belongs to cooling and lighting with 3% and 7%.
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IELTS academic The pie charts demonstrate the proportion of energy consumption for various purposes and the amount of greenhouse gas released by an Australian family.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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