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The table illustrates the proportions of the notebook market share for seven firms all over the world in 2006 and 2007.

The table illustrates the proportions of the notebook market share for seven firms all over the world in 2006 and 2007. aVqVX
The table illustrates the proportions of the notebook market share for seven firms all over the world in 2006 and 2007. Overall, the percentage of worldwide market share of the laptop market for HP, Dell, Toshiba went up over the period given, while that for Acer, Lenovo, Fujitsu-Siemens and others decreased. Noticeably, the market share of Fujitsu-Siemens accounted for the lowest rate of the table. With regard to the rates of HP accounted for 31. 4% in the first year and this number rose and reached a peak of 34% in 2007. Besides, the figure for Dell’s market share recorded a positive change, with a 3. 6% increase from 16. 6 to 20. 2%. Likewise, the ratio of Toshiba accounted for 6. 2% in 2006 then it witnessed a slight increase of 1. 1% to 7. 3% in 2007. On the contrary, the figure for Lenovo’s notebook computers began at 11. 6% in 2006. After which, this number decreased slightly to 6. 2 in 2007. Beside that, the market share of notebook computers of Acer accounted for 11. 6% in the first year, then fell by 0. 9% in 2007. Meanwhile, the percentages of notebook computers of Fujitsu-Siemens and other firms in 2006 accounted for 4. 8% and 22. 8%, respectively before declining noticeably by 2. 5% and 3. 5%, respectively.
The table illustrates the proportions of the
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notebook
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market
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share
for seven firms all over the world in 2006 and 2007.

Overall
, the percentage of worldwide
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market
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share
of the laptop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
for HP, Dell, Toshiba went up over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, while that for Acer, Lenovo, Fujitsu-Siemens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
decreased.
Noticeably
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of Fujitsu-Siemens
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accounted
for the lowest rate of the table.

With regard to the rates of HP
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accounted
for 31. 4% in the
first
year and this number rose and reached a peak of 34% in 2007.
Besides
, the figure for Dell’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
recorded a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, with a 3. 6% increase from 16. 6 to 20. 2%.
Likewise
, the ratio of Toshiba
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for 6. 2% in 2006 then it witnessed a slight increase of 1. 1% to 7. 3% in 2007.

On the contrary
, the figure for Lenovo’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notebook
computers began at 11. 6% in 2006. After which, this number decreased
slightly
to 6. 2 in 2007. Beside that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notebook
computers of Acer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for 11. 6% in the
first
year, then fell by 0. 9% in 2007. Meanwhile, the percentages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
notebook
computers of Fujitsu-Siemens and other firms in 2006
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accounted
for 4. 8% and 22. 8%,
respectively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
declining
noticeably
by 2. 5% and 3. 5%,
respectively
.
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IELTS academic The table illustrates the proportions of the notebook market share for seven firms all over the world in 2006 and 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
221 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
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    Present relevant ideas
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