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The line chart illustrates the proportions of first-year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007.

The line chart illustrates the proportions of first-year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007. bQbr3
The line chart illustrates the proportions of first-year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007. Overall, the percentages of the recruitment of English-language teachers decreased over the period given, while that of French-language teachers went up. Noticeably, the proportion of the recruitment of English-language teachers was initially higher than that of French-language teachers but this trend was changed in the last year. With regard to the percentages of the recruitment of English-language teachers, it began at nearly 75% in 2001. Then, it witnessed a significant decrease to about 40% in 2003. After which, this number rose slightly to 44% in 2005 before dropping to under 30% in the last year. On the contrary, approximately 70% of French-language teachers were recruited in the first year. After that, this figure decreased dramatically to over 50% before rising to roughly 75% in the last year.
The line chart illustrates the proportions of
first
-year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007.

Overall
, the percentages of the recruitment of English-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
decreased over the period
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
, while that of French-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
went up.
Noticeably
, the proportion of the recruitment of English-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
was
initially
higher than that of French-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this trend was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the last year.

With regard to the percentages of the recruitment of English-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, it began at
nearly
75% in 2001. Then, it witnessed a significant decrease to about 40% in 2003. After which, this number rose
slightly
to 44% in 2005
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
dropping to under 30% in the last year.

On the contrary
, approximately 70% of French-language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
were recruited
in the
first
year. After that, this figure decreased
dramatically
to over 50%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
rising to roughly 75% in the last year.
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IELTS academic The line chart illustrates the proportions of first-year teachers with regular teaching jobs by year of graduation in Ontario from 2001 to 2007.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
150 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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