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The table illustrates that patients in different ages how much time (average) spent with a doctor in nine different countries.

The table illustrates that patients in different ages how much time (average) spent with a doctor in nine different countries. 8x3RG
The table illustrates that patients in different ages how much time (average) spent with a doctor in nine different countries. Overall, In countries that have been compared, the average time spent with doctor increases with age, except in Japan and Kenya. The average of time (in minute) that people spent with a doctor in France, USA, the UK and Italy increased significantly from the youngest people (0-10) to the oldest (+70). The time that the oldest people spent in consultation is approximately twice as large as the youngest people. For instance the France figure rose from 16 to 38, USA from 13 to 31, the UK from 9 to 21 and Italy from 17 to 29. Moreover the figure for Chile grew slightly from 32 to 39 with age. On the other hand, the figure for Kenya decreased from 15 to 10 minutes with age. The figures for Brazil and India nearly doubled to age 60 (from 12 to 26 and 21 receptively) although after that, there was a decline from 26 to 23 for Brazil and 21 to 11 for India to age 70 plus. The figure for Japan remained relatively unchanged on average 14 minutes.
The table illustrates that patients in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
how much
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time
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(average)
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spent
with a doctor in nine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

Overall
, In countries that have
been compared
, the
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average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
with doctor increases with
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age
, except in Japan and Kenya.

The
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average
of
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time
(in minute) that
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
with a doctor in France, USA, the UK and Italy increased
significantly
from the youngest
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people
(0-10) to the oldest (+70). The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that the oldest
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
in consultation is approximately twice as large as the youngest
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people
.
For instance
the France
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figure
rose from 16 to 38, USA from 13 to 31, the UK from 9 to 21 and Italy from 17 to 29.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the
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figure
for Chile grew
slightly
from 32 to 39 with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for Kenya decreased from 15 to 10 minutes with age.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
for Brazil and India
nearly
doubled to
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age
60 (from 12 to 26 and 21
receptively
) although after that, there was a decline from 26 to 23 for Brazil and 21 to 11 for India to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
70 plus. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
for Japan remained
relatively
unchanged on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
average
14 minutes.
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IELTS academic The table illustrates that patients in different ages how much time (average) spent with a doctor in nine different countries.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
197 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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