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Pie charts shows percentage of water use for different purposes in different parts of world

Pie charts shows percentage of water use for different purposes in different parts of world JKO7D
The pie charts illustrates the levels of water consumed for different purposes in America, Europe, Africa and some parts of Asia. Overall, the water consumption in agricultural sector is higher followed by industrial and domestic sector. Water used for industrial purpose in North America is about 48% which is less than that of the Europe that is 53% and it is just 10% in South America. With regard to agricultural usage, consumption of water is doubled around 71% in South America when compared to North America and Europe which shows 39% and 32% respectively. Domestic use of water is almost similar; 13% in North America, 19% in South America and 15% in Europe. Agricultural sector in Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia consumes high percentage of water on an average 85%. There is a very little use of water in Industries 7% in Africa, 5% in Central Asia and 12% in South East Asia. The data regarding to domestic use of water shows the less consumption of water. In Africa it estimates 9%, Central Asia - 7% and South East Asia - 7%.
The pie charts illustrates the levels of
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water
consumed for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes in America, Europe, Africa and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of Asia.
Overall
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption in agricultural sector is higher followed by industrial and domestic sector.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for industrial purpose in North America is about 48% which is less than that of the Europe
that is
53% and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10% in South America. With regard to agricultural usage, consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is doubled
around 71% in South America when compared to North America and Europe which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
39% and 32%
respectively
. Domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is almost similar; 13% in North America, 19% in South America and 15% in Europe. Agricultural sector in Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia consumes high percentage of
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water
on an average 85%. There is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in Industries 7% in Africa, 5% in Central Asia and 12% in South East Asia. The data
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
domestic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
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water
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the less consumption of
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water
. In
The comma is probably missing here: "Africa, it".
Africa it
estimates 9%, Central Asia
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
7% and South East Asia
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
7%.
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IELTS academic Pie charts shows percentage of water use for different purposes in different parts of world

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
184 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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