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The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish.

The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish. 9adMn
The picture illustrates the stages of smoked fish production. Overall, there are 13 main stages which begin with netting fish, followed by preserving and smoking them before selling them to fish stores. At first, people net fish by sailing small boats or big ships on the sea and then bring them to the ports at land. After that, those fish are freezed for a certain time before being dipped into fresh water to thaw. Next, when the fish are fully thawed, they will be cut open into two separate pieces which are head and body with tail. Moving on, the cut products are then put in salt water and colored yellow by using some chemicals before smoking them in the stove or oven as the most important section. Then, the products are boxed and preserved by a freezing system at 0 degree Celsius. The final stage is distribution from cold store to fish store by trucks or van.
The picture illustrates the stages of smoked fish production.
Overall
, there are 13 main stages which
begin
with netting fish, followed by preserving and smoking them
before
selling them to fish stores.

At
first
,
people
net fish by sailing
small
boats or
big
ships on the sea and then bring them to the ports at land. After that, those fish are
freezed
for a certain time
before
being dipped
into fresh water to thaw.
Next
, when the fish are
fully
thawed, they will be
cut
open into two separate pieces which are head and body with tail. Moving on, the
cut
products are then put in salt water and colored yellow by using
some
chemicals
before
smoking them in the stove or oven as the most
important
section.

Then, the products
are boxed
and preserved by a freezing system at 0 degree Celsius. The final stage is distribution from
cold
store to fish store by trucks or van.
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IELTS academic The diagram below shows the process of producing smoked fish.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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