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The table illustrates activities that people at the age of 30 to 50 years old from 8 different countries spent their pastimes on.

The table illustrates activities that people at the age of 30 to 50 years old from 8 different countries spent their pastimes on. PR2m2
The table illustrates activities that people at the age of 30 to 50 years old from 8 different countries spent their pastimes on. Overall, TV, Sport, Reading, and Hobbies are preferred compared to other counterparts (music, beach, and sleep). Additionally, Japan showed the most significant difference with 30-to-50-year-olds’ spare time only being spent on reading. It can be seen from the table that the vast majority of people falling into the 30 to 50 age group in Canada, Australia and the USA opted to watch tv on their freetime with the figure being 60%, 65% and 60%, respectively. The same figure was seen at the percentage of people in Asia countries (Korea, China, and Japan) spent on reading. In the majority of countries shown, the rates of people taking part in their hobbies in their free time (from 20% to 50%) were 20% more than that figure of sports ( from 21% to 30%) The remaining categories which were sleep, music and beach were less preferred. The figure in these categories was under 5%, with some exceptions. In terms of music, 23% of Americans spend their spare time on it, while for sleep, the proportion of English people dominates that of other countries. The rate of people spending pastimes at the beach in Australia and the USA was the same ( 30%).
The table illustrates activities that
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people
at the age of 30 to 50 years
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old
from 8
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different


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countries
spent their pastimes on.

Overall
, TV, Sport, Reading, and Hobbies
are preferred
compared to other counterparts (music, beach, and sleep).
Additionally
, Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
the most significant difference with 30-to-50-year-olds’ spare time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
being spent
on reading.

It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the table that the vast majority of
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people
falling into the 30 to 50 age group in Canada, Australia and the USA opted to
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watch
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tv
on their
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freetime
with the
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figure
being 60%, 65% and 60%,
respectively
. The same
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figure
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
at the percentage of
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people
in Asia countries (Korea, China, and Japan) spent on reading. In the majority of countries shown, the rates of
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people
taking part in their hobbies in their free time (from 20% to 50%) were 20% more than that
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figure
of sports
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(
from 21% to 30%)

The remaining categories which were sleep, music and beach were less preferred. The
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figure
in these categories was under 5%, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
exceptions. In terms of music, 23% of Americans spend their spare time on it, while for sleep, the proportion of English
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people
dominates that of other countries. The rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending pastimes at the beach in Australia and the USA was the same
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
30%).

IELTS academic The table illustrates activities that people at the age of 30 to 50 years old from 8 different countries spent their pastimes on.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
222 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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