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The earning of a country by exporting goods

The earning of a country by exporting goods alnxX
The chart illustrates the earning of a country by exporting goods in five different categories from the year of 2015 to 2016, while the table represents the percentage change of exports in those categories of goods. Overall, the country was able to export 15. 24 percent more textiles in 2016 though the revenue generated was the same as agricultural products, which were about 31 billion dollars. The percentage change in exportation of agricultural products were under 1 percent in between the years of 2015 and 2016. Although there was the highest percentage change by exporting engineered goods (8. 5 percent), the earning was just little bit less than from the petroleum products (under 65 percent). However, only the export of gems and jewelry were lower in 2016 including a decline in the earning about 2 percent. Other than that, in all categories the percentage of export was increased in the year of 2016 along with a revenue boost.
The chart illustrates the earning of a country by exporting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
in five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
categories from the year of 2015 to 2016, while the table represents the
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percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exports
in those categories of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Overall
, the country was able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
15. 24
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percent
more textiles in 2016 though the revenue generated was the same as agricultural products, which were about 31 billion dollars. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in exportation of agricultural products were under 1
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percent
in between the years of 2015 and 2016.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
there was the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
by exporting engineered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
(8. 5
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percent)
, the earning was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
less than from the petroleum products (under 65 percent).

However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
of gems and jewelry were lower in 2016 including a decline in the earning about 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
. Other than that, in all categories the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
export
was increased
in the year of 2016 along with a revenue boost.

IELTS academic The earning of a country by exporting goods

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
158 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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