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The table graph illustrates that desire of give up smoking by several reason while the another one eloborates that they intend to give up.The data is measured in percentage respectively.

The table graph illustrates that desire of give up smoking by several reason while the another one eloborates that they intend to give up. The data is measured in percentage respectively. AwJRM
At a fleeting glance, it can clearly seen that, the main cause of smokers to give up for stopping is for general health 71% with financial considerations 31% whereas the risk of smoking related diseases 25% owing with the nect two most famous reasons. One of them is ongoing health issues it is harmful for health. Moreover, the another one under the pressure of their loved ones 16%. Moving to the next graph, the majority of smokers questioned (71%) intended to give up, with light smokers more inclined to stop (79%) than heavy smokers (60%). 35% of smokers said they were planning to give up within the next six months and only 12% said they were prepared to try within the following month. Although only 29% of smokers on average were unwilling to give up, heavy smokers were almost twice as unwilling to try as light smokers, which perhaps reflects the level of addiction in the former group. To recap, it can be sharply summarised that, the higher proportion of given up smoking because of health in general. However, the least intend to give up by heavy smokers.
At a fleeting glance, it can
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, the main cause of smokers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
up for stopping is for general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
71% with financial considerations 31% whereas the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of smoking related diseases 25% owing with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
nect
two most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
reasons. One of them is ongoing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues it is harmful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
Moreover
, the another one under the pressure of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones 16%.

Moving to the
next
graph, the majority of smokers questioned (71%) intended to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
up, with light smokers more inclined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
(79%) than heavy smokers (60%). 35% of smokers said they were planning to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
up within the
next
six months and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
12% said they
were prepared
to try within the following month. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
29% of smokers on average were unwilling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
up, heavy smokers were almost twice as unwilling to try as light smokers, which perhaps reflects the level of addiction in the former group.

To recap, it can be
sharply
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarised' is British English.
summarised
that, the higher proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
up smoking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in general
.
However
, the least intend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
up by heavy smokers.
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IELTS academic The table graph illustrates that desire of give up smoking by several reason while the another one eloborates that they intend to give up. The data is measured in percentage respectively.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
188 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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