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The changes in then place of queen mary hospital in the year's 1960,1980,2000

The changes in then place of queen mary hospital in the year's 1960, 1980, 2000 lLXPo
The diagrams illustrate a variety of alterations of the place at queen mary hospital in 1980 and 2000 since it was built in 1960. Looking from an overall perspective, it is conspicuous that there were a spectacular developments over the time period. As can be seen when it was constructed there was a shopping centre which had been demolished to make way for cancer centre and pharmacy in 1980. It should be noted that the hospital and pharmacy remained relatively the same in the past 4 decades. Furthermore, the farmland was converted into a nursing school. In addition, there was a car park, located nearby the hospital and which was reduced in size in the year 2000. Moreover, it is apparently seen that the cancer centre was extended to cover entire nursing school in 2000.
The diagrams illustrate a variety of alterations of the place at queen
Possible spelling mistake found.
mary
hospital in 1980 and 2000 since it
was built
in 1960.

Looking from an
overall
perspective, it is conspicuous that there were a spectacular developments over the time period.

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
when it
was constructed
there was a shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
which had
been demolished
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for cancer
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
and pharmacy in 1980. It should
be noted
that the hospital and pharmacy remained
relatively
the same in the past 4 decades.

Furthermore
, the farmland
was converted
into a nursing school.
In addition
, there was a car park, located nearby the hospital and which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
in size in the year 2000.
Moreover
, it is
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the cancer
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
was extended
to cover entire nursing school in 2000.
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IELTS academic The changes in then place of queen mary hospital in the year's 1960, 1980, 2000

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
135 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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