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The table gives information about 6800 Scottish people who were (16 years and over) and participated in various cultural activities during the last year.

Overall, it is clear that the largest proportion of people in all three aged groups were taken part in dancing, singing, playing musical instruments and acting actions. On the other hand, any writing and computer based categories was the lowest percentages by different ageing two groups participants. Out of the five cultural activities, people of 16-24 ages were participated noticeably higher on any performance, at 35% and any visual arts, at 30% compared to undertaking any crafts and cultural purchases activities were the same lowest figure, at 11%. The percent of participating on any performance was equally highest between on 25-44 ages and all aged 16 and over group, at 22%. But, these groups for any visual arts was slightly lower, at 16% and 15% respectively. Only 5% oldest Scottish people choosing joined in any writing and computer based which shown the lowest cultural activities into all age teams. While undertaking any crafts activities were significantly highest in this age group, at 22%.
Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the largest proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in all three aged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
were taken
part in dancing, singing, playing musical instruments and acting actions.
On the other hand
, any writing and computer based categories was the lowest percentages by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
participants.

Out of the five cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of 16-24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
were participated
noticeably
higher on any performance, at 35% and any visual arts, at 30% compared to undertaking any crafts and cultural
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
were the same lowest figure, at 11%. The percent of participating on any performance was
equally
highest between on 25-44
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
and all aged 16 and over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, at 22%.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
for any visual arts was
slightly
lower, at 16% and 15%
respectively
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
5%
A determiner is probably missing here: "the oldest".
oldest
Scottish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choosing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
in any writing and computer based which shown the lowest cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
into all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
teams. While undertaking any crafts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
were
significantly
highest in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, at 22%.
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IELTS academic The table gives information about 6800 Scottish people who were (16 years and over) and participated in various cultural activities during the last year.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
163 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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