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The table displays information about the percentage of British unemployed how they spent their time in 14 activites in two times (morning and afternoon) in the last year.

The table displays information about the percentage of British unemployed how they spent their time in 14 activites in two times (morning and afternoon) in the last year. YR3Gr
The table displays information about the percentage of British unemployed how they spent their time in 14 activites in two times (morning and afternoon) in the last year. Generally, in the morning the majority of British female unemployed did a housework. The most of males hunted a job in the morning whereas just a few of them who drinking at the morning as well as British female activity. Following this data, in the morning, the majority of women did her housework by nearly a half (49%) whereas nearly one-fifth (19%) of man who did this. The most of male were job hunting accounted for 22% in the morning and 14% of them was gardening. While more than a quarter (26%) of women went to shopping and 16% of them searched a job. Only 8% of British male who still stayed in a bed in the morning as well as a women. Just a few of community in the both gender were played s sport and drinking were bellow than 5%. On the contrary, in the afternoon, the most of man who watching a television accounted by 14% whereas women who did this just 12%. The other activities which male did it such as job hunting, visiting friends, and gardening were made by 12%, 12%, and 13% respectively. However, the number of female who did a housework accounted 21% and others such as shopping, job hunting, and visiting relatives accouted by 17%, 13%, and again 17% respectively. The both of gender made bellow than 5% for staying in bed, visiting town, playing sport, and drinking.
The table displays information about the percentage of British unemployed how they spent their time in 14
Possible spelling mistake found.
activites
in two times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(morning
and afternoon) in the last year.

Generally
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
the majority of British female unemployed did a housework. The most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
hunted a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few of them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
drinking at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
as well
as British female activity.

Following this data, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
did her housework by
nearly
a half (49%) whereas
nearly
one-fifth (19%) of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did this. The
Consider using "most male" or "most of the male".
most of male
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
Consider using a past participle here: "jobbed".
job
hunting accounted for 22% in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
and 14% of them was gardening. While more than a quarter (26%) of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
went to shopping and 16% of them searched a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
8% of British male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
still
stayed in a bed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
morning
as well
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
a few of community in the both gender
were played
s sport and drinking were
Consider using a past participle here: "bellowed".
bellow
than 5%.

On the contrary
, in the afternoon, the most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
watching a television accounted by 14% whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
12%. The other activities which male did it such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
hunting, visiting friends, and gardening
were made
by 12%, 12%, and 13%
respectively
.
However
, the number of female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did a housework accounted 21%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
such as shopping,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
hunting, and visiting relatives
Possible spelling mistake found.
accouted
by 17%, 13%, and again 17%
respectively
. The both of gender made bellow than 5% for staying in bed, visiting town, playing sport, and drinking.
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IELTS academic The table displays information about the percentage of British unemployed how they spent their time in 14 activites in two times (morning and afternoon) in the last year.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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