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The table describes the victims by age groups and offence categories in Venezuela, 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write atleast 150 words.

The table describes the victims by age groups and offence categories in Venezuela, 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write atleast 150 words. 8QlnV
The table shows statistics of people in five age groups who became victims of various crimes in Venezuela in 1999. Overall, It can be clearly seen that robbery was the most common type of offence across all of the age groups. The highest number of victims belongs to both robbery and kidnapping, over 4500 and 56 cases respectively for people over 15 and under 24 years old. This number reduced though by 25% (to 3312 and 48 respectively) as age group goes up, from 24 to 44 years old, it went down further, even more for ages 45-64, dropping to 1067 cases of robbery and 16 kidnappings. While, figures of blackmail and murder victims show very similar tendency to increase as observed from age group 0-14 to 25-44, where they peaked at 76 and 38 respectively in the year mentioned. Another noticeable feature is that the majority of the victims belonged to ages from 15 up to 64 for all kinds of offences, with exceptions of negligence and kidnapping, where most of victims belonged to age group of 0-14.
The table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
statistics of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in five
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
who became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
of various crimes in

Venezuela in 1999.

Overall
, It can be
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that robbery was the most common type of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
across
Consider using "all the".
all of the
age

groups.

The highest number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
belongs to both robbery and kidnapping, over 4500 and 56 cases

respectively
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 15 and under 24 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. This number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
though by 25% (to 3312

and 48
respectively
) as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
goes up, from 24 to 44 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
, it went down
further
, even more

for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
45-64, dropping to 1067 cases of robbery and 16 kidnappings.

While, figures of blackmail and murder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
similar tendency to increase as observed

from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
0-14 to 25-44, where they peaked at 76 and 38
respectively
in the year mentioned.

Another noticeable feature is that the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
belonged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
from 15 up to 64 for all

kinds of
Possible spelling mistake. 'offences' is British English.
offences
, with
The usual collocation for "exceptions" in this context is "to" not "of". Did you mean "exceptions to"?
exceptions of
negligence and kidnapping, where most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
victims
belonged to

age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
of 0-14.
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IELTS academic The table describes the victims by age groups and offence categories in Venezuela, 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write atleast 150 words.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
179 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • The table describes the victims by age groups and offence categories in Venezuela, 1999. Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information shown. You should write atleast 150 words.