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The table compares international tourizm in 2009 and 2010 in 9 countries

The table compares international tourizm in 2009 and 2010 in 9 countries xx0Rw
The given chart gives data about international tourism in 9 different countries, split by 2 years. Overall, International tourism generally increases with year, except in Hong Kong and France. We can see that the most common trend is slight rise. As for, the figure in Usa it start with 66 in 2009 and there is a slight increase to 67 in 2010. Likewise, the Spain figure rises from 55 to 56, the UK from 55 to 57, and Italy from 44 to 45. There are all steady rises. As regards, Turkey also shows a dramatic rise, from 32 to 46 with 33% increase, China also partially follow this pattern, from 22 to 34 which 55% change and Germany from 10 to 24 which it was a peak of change with 109% Two countries are exceptions. France stayed the same in both years with 76. However Hong Kong declined steadily from 10 to 9 with -11 change.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
chart gives data about international tourism in 9
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries, split by 2 years.
Overall
, International tourism
generally
increases with year, except in Hong Kong and France. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the most common trend is slight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
. As for, the figure in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Usa
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with 66 in 2009 and there is a slight increase to 67 in 2010.
Likewise
, the Spain figure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rises
from 55 to 56, the UK from 55 to 57, and Italy from 44 to 45. There are all steady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rises
. As regards, Turkey
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a dramatic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
, from 32 to 46 with 33% increase, China
also
partially
follow this pattern, from 22 to 34 which 55%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and Germany from 10 to 24 which it was a peak of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
with 109% Two countries are exceptions. France stayed the same in both years with 76.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Hong Kong declined
steadily
from 10 to 9 with -11
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
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IELTS academic The table compares international tourizm in 2009 and 2010 in 9 countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
156 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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