Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

ANIMALS KEPT IN THE ZOO IS IT BENEFICIAL?

ANIMALS KEPT IN THE ZOO IS IT BENEFICIAL? BLYXj
In contemporary era, individuals dwelling in some nations have to work long hours. Is that positive trend or bad approach? In this essay I will explore the reasons of this happening and I personally suppose this trend should not be supported. To begin with, first obvious reason is that as those people living in economically backward nations having not much revenue per year and lower GDP gain, have to suffer a lot in terms of their satisfactory income gain. In fact, flexible working hours to gain good income is not sufficient for those people as they need as much money as to meet their livelihood as well as genuine expenses. Furthermore, they are required to work hard and sometimes 24 hours to sustain their daily needs. For instance, according to The Economist magazine report published recently, that tells us that people living in under privileged societies and towns obliged to work throughout the day to fulfill their necessities with no satisfactory wages due to growing unemployment rates worldwide. Another reason might be the lust to gain much capital and wealth. It is increasingly being observed in many parts of the world that few business oriented people, in thirst of being well off and socio-economically stable in the society, they are tending to earn plenty of money by being engaged in their business field every time, even they can not take out some time to chill out with their family. Thus, this kind of trend is becoming a trouble for under developed nations as a result, people can not manage their work and home life in balance To sum up, in few nations people are becoming busy at work for longer hours to make their sustenance good, and working hard for longer time in hunger of luxurious life. Although, I believe that this type of trend should not be promoted and stopped as it creates problems in the lives of people.
In contemporary era, individuals dwelling in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
. Is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
approach? In this essay I will explore the reasons of this happening and I
personally
suppose this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
should not
be supported
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
first
obvious reason is that as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in
economically
backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
having not much revenue per year and lower GDP
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer a lot in terms of their satisfactory income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
. In fact, flexible working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income is not sufficient for those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they need as much money as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their livelihood
as well
as genuine expenses.
Furthermore
, they
are required
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
24
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to sustain their daily needs.
For instance
, according to The Economist magazine report published recently, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in under privileged societies and towns obliged to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
throughout the day to fulfill their necessities with no satisfactory wages due to growing unemployment rates worldwide. Another reason might be the lust to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
much capital and wealth. It is
increasingly
being observed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world that few business oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, in thirst of being well off and socio-
economically
stable in the society, they are tending to earn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of money by
being engaged
in their business field every time, even they can not take out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time to chill out with their family.
Thus
, this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is becoming a trouble for under developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
as a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can not manage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and home life in balance To sum up, in few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming busy at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their sustenance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, and working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for longer time in hunger of luxurious life. Although, I believe that this type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
should not
be promoted
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
as it creates problems in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic ANIMALS KEPT IN THE ZOO IS IT BENEFICIAL?

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Effects of Global Warning
    A group of individuals are inclined to think that the topic of global warming. It has many effects on the environment. Atmost one is it effects our global temperature. Due to rising temperature it will cause in melting glaciers. For example, recent study of Indian express newspaper they have shown t...
  • 5band
    The given bar chart illustrates the top ten countries for production and consumption of electricity during the year 2014.
    The given bar chart illustrates the top ten countries for production and consumption of electricity during the year 2014. Overall we can see that both countries China and the United States had the most amount of produce and consumption of electricity. Europe countries which are Germany, Canada, Br...
  • 5band
    The diagram shows the cycle of water treatment
    The diagram below illustrates the process how water is treated. A quick glance at picture is quite enough to make it clear that the water treatment concludes 10 main stages, beginning with intake screens and ending with taking the water through faucet. First of all, in the water filteration process,...
  • 6band
    The pie charts illustrate the way in which energy used by the average Australian household and emitting greenhouse gas by using energy.
    The pie charts illustrate the way in which energy used by the average Australian household and emitting greenhouse gas by using energy. Overall, it is clear that the major consumption of energy was made by Australia is heating however, it released less green house gas. Even though water heating con...
  • 5band
    The diagram shows how solar works
    The diagram illustrates how the solar energy is generated from sun. To begin with, the sunlight coming from the sun hits the solar panels and that is connected with 12v battery and this is charged up or power up by solar panels. Continuing the process 12 volt battery js connected with household elec...
  • 6band
    pie chart Highest level of education of women in someland -1945 until 1995
    The pie charts illustrate the quantity of the women's highest level of education in someland in a period of 50 years from 1945 until 1995. Overall, It could be seen that the percentage of educated women has increased during this period of time, which there was not any illiterate woman in 1995. Not o...





Get more results for topic:
  • ANIMALS KEPT IN THE ZOO IS IT BENEFICIAL?