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Minority languages conservation pp

Minority languages conservation pp 0aM1B
It is true that, some of the languages are in the border of extinction. Few people says that government want to balance more money for saving these languages and the rest of the people says that it would be a wastage of money. First of all, spending more money to preserve those dialects will be a wastage of money. It is because teh government need a large amount of cash to preserve these languages and only a few people will get benefit from them. Later, it will be a financial burden to the authorities. So, it is better that to invest money in other sectors like education, public transport, health can save more human lives. More over, i believe that government will not encourage people which they donot willing to study these less speaking languages. Hence, government want to invest more money in essential and important sectors to every people. On the other hand, the public authorities want to provide some fund for saving these dialects. To be more clear, languages are not a tool only for communication. Behind these minority languages there are several kind of myths, rituals, cultures and lot of activities. So, through the extinction of these languages, the cultural identity will disappear and our civilization may remain unknown. Thus, through the investing of money, we can protect our mother tongues as well as our cultural heritages also. To conclude, few persons says that investing fund on minority languages are a wate of time and money where others says that it is a essential material to our whole nation. Both of the views have good and bad sides, which I stand in the side of preserving the diversity of languages.
It is true that,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are in the border of extinction. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
want to balance more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for saving these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
that it would be a wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to preserve those dialects will be a wastage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Possible spelling mistake found.
teh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
need a large amount of cash to preserve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefit from them. Later, it will be a financial burden to the authorities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is better that to invest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in other sectors like education, public transport, health can save more human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. More over,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will not encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which they
Possible spelling mistake found.
donot
willing to study these less speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
want to invest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in essential and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
On the other hand
, the public authorities want to provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fund for saving these dialects. To be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are not a tool
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for communication. Behind these minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
there are
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "several kinds".
several kind
of myths, rituals, cultures and
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, through the extinction of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
, the cultural identity will disappear and our civilization may remain unknown.
Thus
, through the investing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we can protect our mother tongues
as well
as our cultural heritages
also
.
To conclude
, few persons
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
says
that investing fund on minority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are a
Possible spelling mistake found.
wate
of time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
where others
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "say".
says
that it is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
essential material to our whole nation. Both of the views have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
sides, which I stand in the side of preserving the diversity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.

IELTS academic Minority languages conservation pp

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
283 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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