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the diagram shows how a transaction works from an ATM

the diagram shows how a transaction works from an ATM K30eR
The process illustrates the automatic teller machine works in six steps, showing us how to withdraw the money from the ATM on over the work. From the beginning of the diagram, Mr. Smith put his bank card and inserted his PIN into the ATM. In the next step, the machine sent a virtual massage to the bank. The bank Mr. Smith's hometown country located checked whether his budget was enough to provide. As soon as the bank received the notification, they guaranteed the money debited from his account. After that, they transmitted a confirmation to ATM Mr. Smith stood. Mr. Smith pressed OK and then got his card and amount of money back. After all, there was a complete settlement between the two banks.
The process illustrates the automatic teller machine works in six steps, showing us how to withdraw the money from the ATM on over the work.

From the beginning of the diagram, Mr. Smith put his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
card and inserted his PIN into the ATM. In the
next
step, the machine
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
a virtual massage to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
Mr. Smith's hometown country located
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
whether his budget was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to provide.

As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bank
received the notification, they guaranteed the money debited from his account. After that, they transmitted a confirmation to ATM Mr. Smith stood. Mr. Smith pressed OK and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
his card and amount of money back.
After all
, there was a complete settlement between the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
banks
.

IELTS academic the diagram shows how a transaction works from an ATM

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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