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The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district.

The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district. BKKX
The table provided gives us the sales performance of a local restaurant in a city's downtown district. The date given was collected during the second week of October (7/10-13/10). It is apparent from the table, that this restaurant does not serve breakfast. Furthermore, we observe that dinner generates significantly more revenue as compared to lunch(on average dinner sales surpass lunch sales by about a 1000$). It should be noted, that wednesday the 9th saw the highest amount of sales during lunch hours (2595$) although, on sunday this number fell to it's lowest in the week (at only 1550$ at about half of wednesday's earnings). For dining hours, weekdays seem to be more profitable as earnings maintain a steady high but fall by 30 to 40% during the weekends. As expected dining hours were the busiest during Thursday and Friday, earning 3800$ and 4350$ respectively, highest earnings of the week. Overall, we see that this particular restaurant has steady weekday lunch earnings but it thrives mainly on dinner sales. Oddly, business for them seems to slow down during the weekends, the opposite of what one would presume.
The table provided gives us the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
performance of a local restaurant in a city's downtown district. The date
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
was collected
during the second week of October (7/10-13/10).

It is apparent from the table, that this restaurant does not serve breakfast.

Furthermore
, we observe that dinner generates
significantly
more revenue as compared to lunch(on average dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
surpass lunch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
by about a
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1000".
1000$
).

It should
be noted
, that
Possible spelling mistake found.
wednesday
the 9th
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
the highest amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
during lunch hours (
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$2595".
2595$
) although, on
Possible spelling mistake found.
sunday
this number fell to it's lowest in the week (at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$1550".
1550$
at about half of
Possible spelling mistake found.
wednesday
's earnings).

For dining hours, weekdays seem to be more profitable as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
maintain a steady high
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fall by 30 to 40% during the weekends. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
dining hours were the busiest during Thursday and Friday,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earning
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$3800".
3800$
and
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$4350".
4350$
respectively
,
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
of the week.

Overall
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that this particular restaurant has steady weekday lunch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earnings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it thrives
mainly
on dinner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
Oddly
, business for them seems to slow down during the weekends, the opposite of what one would presume.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the sales at a small restaurant in a downtown business district.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
186 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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