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Online sales for retail sectors in New Zeland foe 2003 and 2013

Online sales for retail sectors in New Zeland foe 2003 and 2013 GPgm
The chart provides data about online shopping in New Zeland for two different years: 2003 and 2013. Starting with the first year, it is noticeable that travel was the sector with the highest percentage, with about 36%. On the other hand, film/music and clothes industries were similar with a range between 21% and 24%. Unfortunately, books were not as sold as all the other products New Zeland offers in various sectors. Secondly, for the year 2013, film/music and books sector had a surprising increase of sales, leaving them with 33% and 22% in that order. For the travel industry the sales decreased but not as radically as the clothes sector, with a reduction of almost 8%. We can notice how the entertainment industry has been growing much more than the clothes or even the travel sectors. Books, film and music increased their sales in a laps of 10 years and it will continue that way.
The chart provides data about online shopping in New
Zeland
for two
different
years: 2003 and 2013.

Starting with the
first
year
, it is noticeable that travel was the
sector
with the highest percentage, with about 36%.
On the other hand
, film/music and clothes industries were similar with a range between 21% and 24%. Unfortunately, books were not as sold as all the other products New
Zeland
offers in various sectors.

Secondly
, for the
year
2013, film/music and books
sector
had a surprising increase of sales, leaving them with 33% and 22% in that order. For the travel industry the sales decreased
but
not as
radically
as the clothes
sector
, with a reduction of almost 8%.

We can notice how the entertainment industry has been growing much more than the clothes or even the travel
sectors
. Books, film and music increased their sales in
a laps
of 10 years and it will continue that way.
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IELTS academic Online sales for retail sectors in New Zeland foe 2003 and 2013

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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