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The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998. KMMw
The given table describes the total amount of money spent in comparison to their income. Graph shows the most common items that people bought in the UK in 1998. Graph contains 4 common type of items that people like to spend money on. That category includes food, electronic equipment, music and videos. Human statistic is separated on adults and children, men and women, boys and girls. The most common element that people spend money is food of course. But women like to waste the most amount of money rather than other categories. They spent almost 39% of income! Boys spent less rather than the others, only 9%. But the most non-interesting category is electronic equipment. Most of all, children like to spend money on buying toys and therefore they spent about 23% of income. Adults and girls don't like spending so much and waste only 5% of income on electronic equipment. Music is very popular for teenagers. They spend about 40% of their money for music! But, if statistic is correct, girls spent more on music rather than boys. Videos is not much popular in women category, so women spent only 0. 5% of their income. But children like films, so they like to waste about 12% of their money. Summing up, proportions for money spent on this common items is not equal. The more adult a person becomes, the more he becomes interested in housekeeping and food making. But young people are interested in attractions and fun and because of it, they spend most of their money on music and videos.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
the total amount of
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money
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spent
in comparison
to their
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income
. Graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the most
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common
items that
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
in the UK in 1998.

Graph contains 4
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common
type of items that
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people
like to
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spend
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money
on. That
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category
includes food, electronic equipment,
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music
and videos. Human statistic
is separated
on adults and children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
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women
, boys and girls. The most
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common
element that
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people
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spend
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money
is food
of course
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
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women
like to waste the most amount of
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money
rather
than other
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categories
. They
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spent
almost 39% of
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income
! Boys
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spent
less
rather
than the others,
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only
9%.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the most non-interesting
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category
is electronic equipment. Most of all, children like to
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spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on buying toys and
therefore
they
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spent
about 23% of
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income
. Adults and girls don't like spending
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so
much and waste
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
5% of
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income
on electronic equipment.

Music is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular for
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teenagers
. They
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spend
about 40% of their
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money
for
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music
!
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, if statistic is correct, girls
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spent
more on
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music
rather
than boys.

Videos
You should probably use: "are" or "were".
is
not much popular in
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women
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category
,
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so
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women
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spent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
0. 5% of their
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income
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
children like films,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they like to waste about 12% of their money.

Summing up, proportions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spent
on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
items is not equal. The more adult a person becomes, the more he becomes interested in housekeeping and food making.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
young
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people
are interested
in attractions and fun and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
and videos.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the proportion of income spent on 4 common items in the UK in 1998.

Academic
  American English
6 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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