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The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. gmaL
The tabular chart provides information about the participation in senior management in various companies by females over a 40 year period. The data is in the percentage. Overall, it is seen clearly from the given table that all companies showed an upward trend in the given period, whereas the eldan ltd was at the top position in this category. Meanwhile, the finsbury ltd was the last. In 1975, only 3% of women who participated in senior management positions in the Elden limited, which was six times and Tirthteen time lower than the bamforth and finsbury limited respectively. By contrast, all three companies showed an upward trend in term of the females participation between 3% and 35% in the following thirty years. By 2000, female candidates applied in senior positions in the management department in the Eldan, Bamforth, and Finsbury limited were at 33%, 17% and 20% respectively. Furthermore, the percentage of women who want jobs increased in 2015, wheres senior positions in management applied by women was at 64% in the eldan limited, which was higher than other companies. While there were around 46% of women who applied at Bamforth limited compared with 26% of women's in the Finsbury limited in the year 2015.
The tabular chart provides information about the participation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
by females over a
When a number forms part of an adjectival compound, use a hyphen: "40-year"
40 year
period. The data is in the percentage.

Overall
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
table that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period, whereas the
Possible spelling mistake found.
eldan
ltd was at the top
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position
in this category. Meanwhile, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
finsbury
ltd was the last.

In 1975,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
3% of
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women
who participated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Elden
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limited
, which was six times and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tirthteen
time lower than the
Possible spelling mistake found.
bamforth
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
finsbury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
respectively
. By contrast, all three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
an upward trend in term of the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "females'" or "female's"?
females
participation between 3% and 35% in the following thirty years. By 2000, female candidates applied in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
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positions
in the
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management
department in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Eldan
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bamforth
, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Finsbury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
were at 33%, 17% and 20%
respectively
.

Furthermore
, the percentage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
who want jobs increased in 2015,
Possible spelling mistake found
wheres
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senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
applied by
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women
was at 64% in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
eldan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
, which was higher than other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
there were around 46% of
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women
who applied at
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bamforth
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limited
compared with 26% of women's in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Finsbury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
in the year 2015.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
204 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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