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The diagram illustrate about the information the plan of medical center between 2008 and 2010

The diagram illustrate about the information the plan of medical center between 2008 and 2010 7neX
Overall, it can be seen that, there were lots of changes in medical center. First of all, the doctor's office had been distributed in three aspects. One the one hand, the treatment room had been remained stable of the medical centre in 2008 and 2010. There were no changed in treatment room. In addition, the corridor, staff office, reception, waiting room, main enterance all of these had been natural in 2008 and 2010. On the other hand, in the right side of medical center there were constructed the education room and mother and child room in 2010. However, before one year It was not available of education room and mother and child room in 2008. Moreover, the pharmacy was not available in 2008 but after one year the pharmacy was build in 2010.
Overall
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that, there were lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in medical center.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the doctor's office had
been distributed
in three aspects.
Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand, the treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
had
been remained
stable of the medical
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
in 2008 and 2010. There were no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in treatment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
.
In addition
, the corridor, staff office, reception, waiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
, main
Possible spelling mistake found.
enterance
all of these had been natural in 2008 and 2010.
On the other hand
,
The usual prepositions to use when in contact with the side is "on" not "in". Did you mean "on the right side"?
in the right side
of medical center there
were constructed
the education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and mother and child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in 2010.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
one year It was not available of education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
and mother and child
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
room
in 2008.
Moreover
, the pharmacy was not available in 2008
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after one year the pharmacy was build in 2010.
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IELTS academic The diagram illustrate about the information the plan of medical center between 2008 and 2010

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
133 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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