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THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE PARTICIPATION OF WOMEN IN SENIOR MANAGEMENT IN THREE COMPANIES BETWEEN 1975 AND 2015.

THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE PARTICIPATION OF WOMEN IN SENIOR MANAGEMENT IN THREE COMPANIES BETWEEN 1975 AND 2015. VyDwQ
THE TABLE ILLUSTRATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT HOW MUCH AVERAGE OF WOMEN PARTICIPATION IN SENIOR MANAGEMENT IN 3 COMPANIES OVER A PERIOD OF 40 YEARS. OVERALL, IT IS MANIFEST FROM THE TABLE THAT THE RATIO OF WOMEN PARTICIPATE IN ELDAN LTD COMPANY WAS THE HIGHEST AMONG OTHER COMPANIES, WHEREAS THE RATIO OF WOMEN PARTICIPATE IN FINSBURY LTD COMPANY WAS THE LOWEST THROUGHOUT THE GIVEN PERIOD. INITIATING AT 9% IN 1975 AND INCREASE TO 11% IN 1980, THE NUMBER OF WOMEN PARTICIPATE IN BAMFORTH LTD COMPANY SLOWLY EXTENSION BY 13% IN 1985. ALTHOUGH, ONLY 3% IN 1975 AND SAME VALUE IN THE PERIOD OF 1980, THE NUMERAL OF WOMEN PARTICIPATE IN ELDAN LTD COMPANY RISE BY 14% IN 1985. MOREOVER, THE QUANTITY OF WOMEN PARTICIPATE IN FINSBURY LTD COMPANY IS 16% IN 1975 AND SLOWLY DECREASE TO 14% IN 1980, NEXT YEAR THIS VALUE SLIGHTLY GROW BY 15% IN 1985. AFTER 15 YEAR IN 2000, THE PROPORTION OF WOMEN PARTICIPATE IN ELDAN LTD COMPANY RISE AT 33% AND IN BAMFORTH LTD COMPANY THAT VALUE EXTENSION TO 17% IN 2000 COMPARABLY, IN FINSBURY LTD COMPANY RATIO OF WOMEN PARTICIPATE EXPAND BY 20% IN 2000. NONETHELESS, LAST YEAR IN 2015, THE DIGIT OF WOMEN PARTICIPATES IN ELDAN LTD COMPANY EXTREMELY ELEVATION TO 64% WHILE IN BAMFORTH COMPANY THAT AVERAGE SOAR BY 46% IN 2015 THOUGH, THE PROPORTION OF WOMEN PARTICIPATE IN FINSBURY LTD COMPANY SLIGHTLY EXPANSION BY 26% IN 2015.
THE TABLE ILLUSTRATES THE INFORMATION ABOUT HOW MUCH AVERAGE OF
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WOMEN
PARTICIPATION IN SENIOR MANAGEMENT IN 3
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COMPANIES
OVER A PERIOD OF 40 YEARS.
OVERALL
, IT IS MANIFEST FROM THE TABLE THAT THE RATIO OF
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WOMEN
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PARTICIPATE
IN
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ELDAN
LTD
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COMPANY
WAS THE HIGHEST AMONG OTHER
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COMPANIES
, WHEREAS THE RATIO OF
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WOMEN
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "participates"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'PARTICIPATE' is not always incorrect.)
PARTICIPATE
IN
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FINSBURY
LTD
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COMPANY
WAS THE LOWEST THROUGHOUT THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
GIVEN
PERIOD. INITIATING AT 9% IN 1975 AND INCREASE TO 11% IN 1980, THE NUMBER OF
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WOMEN
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PARTICIPATE
IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
BAMFORTH
LTD
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COMPANY
SLOWLY
EXTENSION BY 13% IN 1985. ALTHOUGH,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
3% IN 1975 AND SAME VALUE IN THE PERIOD OF 1980, THE NUMERAL OF
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WOMEN
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "participates"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'PARTICIPATE' is not always incorrect.)
PARTICIPATE
IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
ELDAN
LTD
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COMPANY
RISE BY 14% IN 1985.
MOREOVER
, THE QUANTITY OF
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WOMEN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARTICIPATE
IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
FINSBURY
LTD
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COMPANY
IS 16% IN 1975 AND
SLOWLY
DECREASE TO 14% IN 1980,
NEXT
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YEAR
THIS VALUE
SLIGHTLY
GROW BY 15% IN 1985. AFTER 15
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YEAR
IN 2000, THE PROPORTION OF
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WOMEN
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PARTICIPATE
IN
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ELDAN
LTD
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COMPANY
RISE AT 33% AND IN
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BAMFORTH
LTD
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COMPANY
THAT VALUE EXTENSION TO 17% IN 2000
COMPARABLY
, IN
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FINSBURY
LTD
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COMPANY
RATIO OF
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WOMEN
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "participates"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'PARTICIPATE' is not always incorrect.)
PARTICIPATE
EXPAND BY 20% IN 2000. NONETHELESS, LAST
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YEAR
IN 2015, THE DIGIT OF
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WOMEN
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PARTICIPATES
IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
ELDAN
LTD
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COMPANY
EXTREMELY
ELEVATION TO 64% WHILE IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
BAMFORTH
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COMPANY
THAT AVERAGE SOAR BY 46% IN 2015 THOUGH, THE PROPORTION OF
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WOMEN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PARTICIPATE
IN
Possible spelling mistake found.
FINSBURY
LTD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
COMPANY
SLIGHTLY
EXPANSION BY 26% IN 2015.
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IELTS academic THE TABLE BELOW SHOWS THE PERCENTAGE PARTICIPATION OF WOMEN IN SENIOR MANAGEMENT IN THREE COMPANIES BETWEEN 1975 AND 2015.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
236 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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