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The table and bar chart give the information about the UK cruise passengers in 1995 and 2003

The table and bar chart give the information about the UK cruise passengers in 1995 and 2003 QlDMK
The bar chart demonstrates the percentage of the UK travelers in various age group from 1995 to 2003. Besides, the table provides data about the accurate figure of how many people made journey in the given period. Overall, the number of UK cruise passenger in up to 24 age group shows less passion in touring, meanwhile that in their 65s was a willingness to take a trip. In terms of the number of passengers, there were only 339. 575 tourists in 1995; however, the figure increased more than three times to 1. 053. 367 in 2003. In 1995, there were a slight rise between 6 and 14 percent of travelers from younger groups aged 24 to 54. Meanwhile, the percentage of people over 54 years old being ready to take part in a journey in 1995 increased significantly and reach at 33 percent in the oldest age group. Despite of having a marginal downward trend by 2 percent in the figure for passengers between up to 24 and 34, the number of the visitors aged 35 to 64 years old and senior citizens considerable grew and reach a peak at 35 percent.
The bar chart demonstrates the percentage of the UK travelers in various age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
from 1995 to 2003.
Besides
, the table provides data about the accurate figure of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
made journey in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period.

Overall
, the number of UK cruise passenger in up to 24 age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
less passion in touring, meanwhile that in their 65s was a willingness to take a trip. In terms of the number of passengers, there were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
339. 575 tourists in 1995;
however
, the figure increased more than three times to 1. 053. 367 in 2003.

In 1995, there were a slight rise between 6 and 14
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
of travelers from younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
aged 24 to 54. Meanwhile, the percentage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
over 54 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
being ready to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a journey in 1995 increased
significantly
and reach at 33
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the oldest age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
having a marginal downward trend by 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in the figure for passengers between up to 24 and 34, the number of the visitors aged 35 to 64 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and senior citizens considerable grew and reach a peak at 35
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
.
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IELTS academic The table and bar chart give the information about the UK cruise passengers in 1995 and 2003

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
192 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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