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The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. 878V
The table illustrates the percentage of women participation in senior management positions in 3 different companies between 1975 and 2015. At Eldan Ltd, at first, the percentage of women participated in senior management positions was notably low, if compared with other 2 companies. Only 3 percent of female participated in senior management positions in 1975. Also, the percentage remained the same until 1980. Then, it increased steadily to 14 percent in 1985, 28 percent in 1990, 33 percent in 2000, and surged sharply to 64 percent in 2015. Likewise, there was a notably growth in percentage of female participating in senior positions in Bamforth Ltd. In 1975, only 9 percent of women participated in senior positions. Afterwards, the percentage gradually and steadily grew from 11 percent in 1980 to 17 percent in 2000. In 2015, the percentage rose remarkably to 46 percent. In contrast, the percentage of female participating in senior positions in Finsbury Ltd was slightly fluctuated during the time. In 1975, 16 percent of women participated in, then it lightly decreased to 14 percent in 1980 and increased to 15 percent in 1985. In 1990, the percentage increased to 22 percent, then dropped to 20 percent. Again, it rose moderately to 26 percent in 2015. Overall, the percentage participation of women in all three companies rose significantly during the period.
The table illustrates the
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percentage
of
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women
participation in
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senior
management
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positions
in 3
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
between 1975 and 2015.

At
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Eldan
Ltd, at
first
, the
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percentage
of
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women
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participated
in
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senior
management
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positions
was
notably
low, if compared with other 2
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
3
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percent
of female
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participated
in
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senior
management
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positions
in 1975.
Also
, the
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percentage
remained the same until 1980. Then, it increased
steadily
to 14
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percent
in 1985, 28
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percent
in 1990, 33
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percent
in 2000, and surged
sharply
to 64
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percent
in 2015.

Likewise
, there was a
You used an adverb ('notably') instead of an adjective, or a noun ('growth') instead of another adjective.
notably growth
in
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percentage
of female participating in
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senior
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positions
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bamforth
Ltd. In 1975,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
participated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
. Afterwards, the
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percentage
gradually
and
steadily
grew from 11
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percent
in 1980 to 17
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percent
in 2000. In 2015, the
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percentage
rose
remarkably
to 46 percent.

In contrast
, the
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percentage
of female participating in
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senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Finsbury
Ltd was
slightly
fluctuated during the time.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1975, 16
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percent
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
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participated
in, then it
lightly
decreased to 14
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percent
in 1980 and increased to 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percent
in 1985.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
1990, the
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percentage
increased to 22
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percent
, then dropped to 20
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percent
. Again, it rose
moderately
to 26
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percent
in 2015.

Overall
, the
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percentage
participation of
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women
in all three
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
rose
significantly
during the period.
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IELTS academic The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

Academic
  American English
5 paragraphs
222 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.0
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Task Achievement: 5.0
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