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The charts show survey results concerning why MBA graduates chose their degree, and employer's reasons for hiring them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

The charts show survey results concerning why MBA graduates chose their degree, and employer's reasons for hiring them. L2N6
The first pie chart compares the purpose of postgraduate students who decide study MBA and the second pie chart gives information about the cause of employers to recruit them. Overall, the main purpose of students to study MBA is to have better job opportunities while the most ability for employers to hire employees is their personality and previous experience (knowledge). As can be seen from the first pie chart, the proportion of better job opportunities is outnumbered to compare with three remnant sectors, at two-thirds. In contrast, ability to help others is the least purpose of students to study MBA, just 8%. Personal development and ability to do job better have a pretty similar percentage of reasons for studying MBA of students with 12% and 15% respectively. In the reason for employers to recruit new staff, personality and previous experience (knowledge) share a half of pie chart, with 25% respectively. Likewise, previous experience (connections) and presentation/appearance share the same proportion at 20%. Qualifications is the least value cause for employers to hiring a new staff, just 10%.
The
first
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pie
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chart
compares the purpose of postgraduate
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students
who decide study MBA and the second
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pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
gives information about the cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
to recruit them.
Overall
, the main purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study MBA is to have better job opportunities while the most ability for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
to hire employees is their personality and previous experience (knowledge).

As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, the proportion of better job opportunities
is outnumbered
to compare with three remnant sectors, at two-thirds.
In contrast
, ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others is the least purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to study MBA,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
8%. Personal development and ability to do job better have a pretty similar percentage of reasons for studying MBA of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with 12% and 15%
respectively
.

In the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
to recruit new staff, personality and previous experience (knowledge) share a half of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pie
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chart
, with 25%
respectively
.
Likewise
, previous experience (connections) and presentation/appearance share the same proportion at 20%. Qualifications is the least value cause for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
to hiring a new staff,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
10%.
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IELTS academic The charts show survey results concerning why MBA graduates chose their degree, and employer's reasons for hiring them.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
177 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • The charts show survey results concerning why MBA graduates chose their degree, and employer's reasons for hiring them. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.