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The table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results f surveys asking the visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The pie chart shows the data about the people who visited Ashdown Museum before and after its redecoration. The chart also provides information about the surveys asking people about their satisfaction level after visiting the museum. Seventy-four thousand people visited the museum the year before its refurbishment, and 92, 000 people visited the museum the year after repairing. The survey asking the people about their satisfaction with visiting the museum has five categories: very satisfied, satisfied, dissatisfied, very dissatisfied, and people with no response. The percentage of the people with zero response remained the same, 5%, before and after the museum was redesigned. The number of people who were very dissatisfied about visiting the museum dropped to 5% from 10%. People showing dissatisfaction visiting the museum reduced considerably from 40% to just 15%. The graph shows that the people who were satisfied with their visit to the museum decreased from 10% to 5%. The delighted number of people visiting the museum increased significantly from 15% to 35%. The chart shows an overall improvement in the satisfaction of people visiting the museum.
The pie chart
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shows
the data about the
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people
who visited
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Ashdown
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Museum
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before
and after its redecoration. The chart
also
provides information about the surveys asking
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people
about their satisfaction level after visiting the
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museum
. Seventy-four thousand
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people
visited the
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museum
the year
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before
its refurbishment, and 92, 000
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people
visited the
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museum
the year after repairing.

The survey asking the
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people
about their satisfaction with visiting the
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museum
has five categories:
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very
satisfied, satisfied, dissatisfied,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied, and
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people
with no response. The percentage of the
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people
with zero response remained the same, 5%,
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before
and after the
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museum
was redesigned
. The number of
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people
who were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied about visiting the
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museum
dropped to 5% from 10%.
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People
showing dissatisfaction visiting the
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museum
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reduced
considerably
from 40% to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
15%.

The graph
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were satisfied
with their visit to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
decreased from 10% to 5%. The delighted number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
increased
significantly
from 15% to 35%. The chart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
an
overall
improvement in the satisfaction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
.

IELTS academic The table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results f surveys asking the visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
181 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • The table below shows the number of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the results f surveys asking the visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.