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The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc. ) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983. v.2

The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc. ) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983. v. 2
The given presentation compares the percentages of electronic household appliances owned by British families from 1972 to 1983. In general, TV had always been popular among British and the dishwasher was the least common item during the given period in Britain. As is observed from the given data, almost one-third households in Britain had central heating machines in 1972 and the percentage increased each year and reached to 64% in 1983, which shows that the central heating machine users almost doubled in 12 years. Again, Television was the most common household equipment as 93% households had them. This ration reached to 98 percent with slight increase year by year. However, the video was introduced in 1983 when only 18% houses had them. Then Vacuum cleaner, refrigerator and washing machines were three most popular household appliances after TV which was owned by 70% house owners in 1972 and the percentages increased to over 90 after 10 years. Interestingly, dishwashers were very less popular as only 3% families owned them initially in 1978 and their user's percentages reached to only 5 in 1983. Finally, the percentage of houses that had telephones was only 42% but with their popularity, this percentage reached to 77 after 12 years. In conclusion, the television was the most popular consumer durable while the dishwasher was the least common type of durables the British people had during the years 1972 to 1983. Vacuum cleaner, refrigerator and washing machine were three other popular consumers’ durables for the given period in Britain.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
presentation compares the
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percentages
of electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
appliances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by British families from 1972 to 1983.
In general
, TV had always been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
among British and the dishwasher was the least common item during the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period in Britain.

As
is observed
from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, almost one-third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
households
in Britain had central heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
in 1972 and the
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percentage
increased each
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year
and
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reached
to 64% in 1983, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the central heating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
users almost doubled in 12 years. Again, Television was the most common
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household
equipment as 93%
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households
had them. This ration
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
to 98 percent with slight increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
by
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year
.
However
, the video
was introduced
in 1983 when
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only
18%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
had them. Then Vacuum cleaner, refrigerator and washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
were three most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
household
appliances after TV which was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
by 70%
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
owners in 1972 and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentages
increased to over 90 after 10 years.
Interestingly
, dishwashers were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
3% families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
them
initially
in 1978 and their user's
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percentages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
to
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only
5 in 1983.
Finally
, the
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percentage
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
that had telephones was
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only
42%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with their popularity, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
percentage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reached
to 77 after 12 years.

In conclusion
, the television was the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
consumer durable while the dishwasher was the least common type of durables the British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had during the years 1972 to 1983. Vacuum cleaner, refrigerator and washing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
were three other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
consumers’ durables for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
period in Britain.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS academic The table below shows the consumer durables (telephone, refrigerator, etc. ) owned in Britain from 1972 to 1983. v. 2

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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