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The table below shows the amount of energy consumed in three countries in the year 2000 and the rate of increase in energy in consumption as compared with the year 1999

The table below shows the amount of energy consumed in three countries in the year 2000 and the rate of increase in energy in consumption as compared with the year 1999 9am03
The provided table demonstrate ratio of female workforce and female manager in five major countries. Overall, the percentage of female workforce is highest in us while in Egypt is the lowest and on the otherside the percentage of female manager is lowest in shrilanka. First, in us the percentage of woman workforce are nearly half of the country's population. In the lowest side Egypt has 20% of female workforce which is one fifth of population of egypt. Next comes Australia and Japan have similar woman staff (42% and 41%)The percentage of female manager are similar in Egypt & Japan and the highest is in the us (43%). While in shrilanka percentage of female manager is only 9%Which is the lowest of five different countries.
The provided table demonstrate ratio of
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female
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workforce
and
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female
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manager
in five major countries.
Overall
, the
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workforce
is highest in us while in Egypt is the
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lowest
and on the
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otherside
the
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
shrilanka
.
First
, in us the
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percentage
of woman
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workforce
are
nearly
half of the country's population. In the
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lowest
side Egypt has 20% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
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workforce
which is one fifth of population of
Possible spelling mistake found.
egypt
.
Next
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comes
Australia and Japan have similar woman staff (42% and 41%)The
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
Did you mean "is"?
are
similar in Egypt & Japan and the highest is in
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "us"?
the us
(43%).
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
shrilanka
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percentage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
manager
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
9%Which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lowest
of five
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.

IELTS academic The table below shows the amount of energy consumed in three countries in the year 2000 and the rate of increase in energy in consumption as compared with the year 1999

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
124 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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