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The table below shows sectors of the economy in which different age groups were employed.

The table below shows sectors of the economy in which different age groups were employed. NmmLj
The table gives information about the number of people from 3 age groups employed in 10 different sectors. Overall, the majority of people work in the manufacturing sector whereas the least number of people are employed in the accountancy field. While the main job area for the youngest group is retail industry, most of the oldest people work in the manufacturing sector. We can see from the chart that an equal number of people (4) from each age group works in the law sector. The other sectors including agriculture, catering and accountancy have generated fewer jobs for all groups (less than 10 people from each group employed in these fields). In the local government and education sectors also relatively fewer people are employed. However, the employment of the middle aged and the oldest group in those areas is higher in number compared to the youngest group. In the 18 -25 group, the majority works in retail sector (23) followed by ‘others (21)’. By contrast in the 40-65 age group, the largest number of people works in manufacturing sector(23). The middle aged group is mostly employed in what is referred to as ‘other’ (18), followed by manufacturing (15) and health (15).
The table gives information about the
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number
of
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people
from 3 age
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groups
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employed
in 10
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors.

Overall
, the majority of
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people
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work
in the
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manufacturing
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sector
whereas the least
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number
of
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people
are
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employed
in the accountancy field. While the main job area for the youngest
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group
is retail industry, most of the oldest
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people
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work
in the
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manufacturing
sector.

We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
from the chart that an equal
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number
of
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people
(4) from each age
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group
works in the law
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sector
. The other
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sectors
including agriculture, catering and accountancy have generated fewer jobs for all
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groups
(less than 10
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people
from each
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group
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employed
in these fields). In the local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and education
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sectors
also
relatively
fewer
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people
are
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employed
.
However
, the employment of the
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middle aged
and the oldest
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group
in those areas is higher in
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number
compared to the youngest group.

In the 18 -25
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group
, the majority works in retail
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sector
(23) followed by ‘others (21)’. By contrast in the 40-65 age
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group
, the largest
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number
of
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people
works in
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manufacturing
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sector(23)
. The
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
middle aged
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group
is
mostly
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employed
in what
is referred
to as ‘other’ (18), followed by
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manufacturing
(15) and health (15).
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IELTS academic The table below shows sectors of the economy in which different age groups were employed.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
200 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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