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The table below show causes of injury in Australia for teenagers and the general population. Summarise the information and make comparisons wherever relevant.

The table below show causes of injury in Australia for teenagers and the general population. 6NGBr
The table illustrates the number of injuries for teenagers and people of all ages in Australia, depending on different types of causes. Generally, it can be seen clearly that complications of medical care represented for the main reason among the general population, whereas, teenagers were more likely to be hospitalised by transport accidents than people of all ages. Moreover, in contrast to the highest record number in total population’s injuries, females between 13 and 19 saw the lowest number in injuries. The most common reason for injuries was total transport accidents with 779 cases of boy, 323 of girls, 557 of total teenagers, and 305 of the general population per 100000 cases, respectively. Additionally, pedestrian, which was accidents related to vehicles like transport accidents, was the least common reason when its injury rate figured for nearly 50 cases per 100000 cases for all age and sex groups. On the other hand, the other causes such as: falls or complications of medical care were more popular in adults than teenagers with the number of complications being the highest of hospitalisation for people of all ages among all the causes listed in the table, standing at 1, 431 cases per 100000 cases. Furthermore, assault and accidental poisoning were two factors, which were like pedestrians and exposure of heat, accounting for low number only under 200 cases per 100000 cases.
The table illustrates the
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number
of
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injuries
for
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teenagers
and
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people
of all
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ages
in Australia, depending on
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different
types of causes.

Generally
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
clearly
that complications of medical care represented for the main reason among the general population, whereas,
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teenagers
were more likely to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalised' is British English.
hospitalised
by transport
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accidents
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all
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ages
.
Moreover
,
in contrast
to the highest record
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number
in total population’s
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injuries
, females between 13 and 19
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saw
the lowest
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number
in injuries.

The most common reason for
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injuries
was total transport
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accidents
with 779 cases of boy, 323 of girls, 557 of total
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teenagers
, and 305 of the general population per 100000 cases,
respectively
.
Additionally
, pedestrian, which was
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accidents
related to vehicles like transport
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accidents
, was the least common reason when its
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injury
rate figured for
nearly
50 cases per 100000 cases for all
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age
and sex groups.

On the other hand
, the other causes such as: falls or complications of medical care were more popular in adults than
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teenagers
with the
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number
of complications being the highest of
Possible spelling mistake. 'hospitalisation' is British English.
hospitalisation
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
among all the causes listed in the table, standing at 1, 431 cases per 100000 cases.
Furthermore
, assault and accidental poisoning were two factors, which were like pedestrians and exposure of heat, accounting for low
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number
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
under 200 cases per 100000 cases.
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IELTS academic The table below show causes of injury in Australia for teenagers and the general population.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
227 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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