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The table below gives information on participation in various leisure activities.

The table below gives information on participation in various leisure activities. BgO59
The table illustrates the percentage of participants in different recreational activities, divided by age groups. Overall, watching TV, playing with friends, and listening to tapes or videos are favored by almost everybody. By contrast, gardening and DIY are just popular with the older generation. First of all, 99% of members of each group loved watching TV, which is the highest, followed by approximately 96% in terms of visiting and entertaining friends or relations. Another attractive activity is listening to tapes or videos with around 94% of the young generation and 83% of seniors. Meanwhile, just more than 60% of each given group preferred listening to the radio. Conversely, while books were chosen by half of the people in the 25-29 group, 38% of the older group cared about it, and the figure for the younger one was only a quarter. Considering DIY, the proportion of people doing this in their spare time of the two young groups were 15% and 35%, respectively, that of the oldest group constitute the majority, at 61%. Finally, only 27% of seniors spent time on their gardens, whereas the figures for adults and teenagers were by far lower, at 14% and 9%, accordingly.
The table illustrates the percentage of participants in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
recreational activities, divided by age groups.

Overall
, watching TV, playing with friends, and listening to tapes or videos
are favored
by almost everybody. By contrast, gardening and DIY are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
popular with the older generation.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, 99% of members of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
watching TV, which is the highest, followed by approximately 96% in terms of visiting and entertaining friends or relations. Another attractive activity is listening to tapes or videos with around 94% of the young generation and 83% of seniors. Meanwhile,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
more than 60% of each
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
preferred listening to the radio.

Conversely
, while books
were chosen
by half of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the 25-29
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
, 38% of the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
cared about it, and the figure for the younger one was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a quarter. Considering DIY, the proportion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
doing this in their spare time of the two young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
were 15% and 35%,
respectively
, that of the oldest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
constitute the majority, at 61%.
Finally
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
27% of seniors spent time on their gardens, whereas the figures for adults and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
were by far lower, at 14% and 9%,
accordingly
.
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IELTS academic The table below gives information on participation in various leisure activities.

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
198 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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