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the main reasons people gave for moving away from their city

the main reasons people gave for moving away from their city ebYkB
The provided line graph indicates the motivations people have had to leave their city and go to the countryside between 1990 and 2010. A glance at the graph reveals that although there was an upward trend for all shown reasons, high expenses of living was the most important compared to the traffic and lifestyle, standing at second and third place respectively. In 1990, the rising cost of living accounted for the main reason to move away from the city, starting at about62000 people, hitting a peak of over 80000 people in 2000. after this point, it decreased slightly but remained the highest point at the end of the period. Moving on to traffic and lifestyle categories as a reason for relocating, There was a joint-lowest of 20000 individuals in the first year presented. lifestyle has witnessed a gradual rise during the period, reaching 30000 in 2010. while, the changes were more significant for traffic, finishing at 50000 in the last year. To sum up, moving to the countryside because of the traffic problems has experienced the most dramatic changes over the period shown. However, the cost of living has remained at the first place.
The provided line graph indicates the motivations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their city and go to the countryside between 1990 and 2010. A glance at the graph reveals that although there was an upward trend for all shown reasons, high expenses of living was the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
compared to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and lifestyle, standing at second and third place
respectively
.

In 1990, the rising cost of living accounted for the main reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from the city, starting at about62000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, hitting a peak of over 80000
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in 2000.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
after
this point, it decreased
slightly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
remained the highest point at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the period.

Moving on to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and lifestyle categories as a reason for relocating, There was a joint-lowest of 20000 individuals in the
first
year presented.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
lifestyle
has witnessed a gradual rise during the period, reaching 30000 in 2010.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
while
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
were more significant for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
, finishing at 50000 in the last year.

To sum up, moving to the countryside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problems has experienced the most dramatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
over the period shown.
However
, the cost of living has remained at the
first
place.
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IELTS academic the main reasons people gave for moving away from their city

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
194 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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