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The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian Universities in 2009.

The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian Universities in 2009. NVbed
The table below display the information about the employment rates and the average yearly earnings of new graduates in an Australian University in 2009. Overall, in the studies of Law and Engineering an ITtye average annual salaries of new graduates was same 59000$ but the rate of employement in both sector of studies was different that is 87% in study of Law and 86% in study of Engineering and IT. As you can see in table there was also other various field of studies which provides different rates of employment. In study related yo Health, the employememt rate was 93% which is highest rate in compare to other studies. It provides average yearly earnings to new graduates was 42000$. In the field of business studies, the employment rate was 78% and average annual salaries to new graduates was 52000$ which was second highest salary given to the new graduates. Remaining others firld of studies that is Arts and Social Science and Science shows the employment rate was 72% and 62% diffrence of 10%. And the annual earnings givem to the new graduates was 50000$ and 39000$. The salaries of science field graduates is less in compare to others field’s graduates.
The table below display the information about the
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employment
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rates
and the
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average
yearly earnings of
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new
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graduates
in an Australian University in 2009.
Overall
, in the
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studies
of Law and Engineering an
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ITtye
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average
annual
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salaries
of
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new
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graduates
was same
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$59000".
59000$
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but
the
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rate
of
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employement
in both sector of
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studies
was
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different
that is
87% in
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study
of Law and 86% in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of Engineering and IT.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
you can
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see
in table there was
also
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other
various
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field
of
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studies
which provides
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different
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rates
of
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employment
. In
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study
related
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yo
Health, the
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employememt
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rate
was 93% which is
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
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rate
in compare to
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other
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studies
. It provides
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average
yearly earnings to
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new
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graduates
was
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$42000".
42000$
. In the
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field
of business
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studies
, the
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employment
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rate
was 78% and
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average
annual
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salaries
to
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new
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graduates
was
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$52000".
52000$
which was second highest
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salary
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given
to the
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new
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graduates
. Remaining others
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firld
of
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studies
that is
Arts and Social Science and Science
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shows
the
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employment
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rate
was 72% and 62%
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diffrence
of 10%. And the annual earnings
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givem
to the
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new
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graduates
was
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$50000".
50000$
and
The currency mark is usually put at the beginning of the number: "$39000".
39000$
. The
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salaries
of science
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field
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graduates
is less in compare to others
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field’s
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graduates
.
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IELTS academic The table below gives information about the employment rates and the average annual salaries of new graduates in an Australian Universities in 2009.

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
200 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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