Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The bar graph shows the amount of males and females enjoyed leisure time on employment status

The bar graph shows the amount of males and females enjoyed leisure time on employment status OgkQp
The vertical bar graph reveals the information about both genders who spent their leisure time on distinctive employment status. It is crystal clear that more than 40 males were engaged with full time work, however the count was noticed double in case of unemployed and retired men. Furthermore, maximum females enjoyed their leisure time with no job. The number was approximately less than 80. Strolling further, the count of males was none who were part time employed, while 50 housewives enjoyed spare time when the males were 0 in similar case. Overall, maximum females enjoyed free time than males over the all employment kinds.
The vertical bar graph reveals the information about both genders who spent their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on distinctive employment status.

It is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that more than 40
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were engaged
with full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
work,
however
the count
was noticed
double in case of unemployed and retired
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.
Furthermore
, maximum females enjoyed their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with no job. The number was approximately less than 80.

Strolling
further
, the count of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
was none who were part
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
employed, while 50 housewives enjoyed spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
were 0 in similar case.

Overall
, maximum females enjoyed free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
over the all employment kinds.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS academic The bar graph shows the amount of males and females enjoyed leisure time on employment status

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    summarize information about wheat exports shown in a line graph
    The line graph gives information about the wheat exports in Australia, Canada and European Community. It is evident that Canada exported more wheat than the other two countries for most period shown. However, while the export figure for Canada fluctuated and Australia’s figure fell, wheat exports fr...
  • 6band
    The given chart compares the culture and leisure activities in which both boys and girls are participating.
    The given pie chart compares the culture and leisure activities in which both boys and girls are participating. The boys prefer to computer games, it is 34%. Both boys and girls are participating in the listen to music which is same(10%). In reading, both are particularly in activities 2% and 21% re...
  • 6band
    Describe the process of instant noodles
    The diagram delineates the production process of quick noodles. Overall, manufacturing process have undergone un to four major stages, beginning with storage silos assembling the dry noodles, cooking and finally packaging for consumption. Quick noodles starts with the storage silos, where flour is k...
  • 5.5band
    The diagram below shows how ketchup is produced.
    The process chart illustrates the information about how ketchup manufacture with several steps. Overall, the process consists of fifteen different stages which utilize to make tomatoes ketchup and it start from picking tomatoes along with finish serve with fast food. In the initial of the process,...
  • 6band
    the chart below shows the number of male and female
    The bar chart shows the gender distribution of students doing scientific research across a range of disciplines at a UK university in 2009. In five of six disciplines, males outnumbered females. Male students made up a particularly large proportion of the student group in subjects related to the st...
  • 6.5band
    Students' main reason to study and their employers support
    The two charts below explain the main background of many students to study, according to their age categories and how the students’ employers contribute to support their study which measured from the employers’ act to give time off and fees help. Overall, the graphs show fluctuating trends. Specifi...





Get more results for topic:
  • The bar graph shows the amount of males and females enjoyed leisure time on employment status