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The table below gives information about student enrolments at Britol University

The table below gives information about student enrolments at Britol University o8oQX
The table shows the number of people who are getting into Bristol University for the years 1928, 1958 and 2008. Overall, the number of pupils taking admission into the university increased exponentially and there were a noticeable rise in the proportion of students came from abroad during the 80 years period. To begin with, only 218 scholars were admitted to the university in 1928, with 42 percent of them being female and 58 percent of them being male, with half of them coming from within 30 miles of the university campus. Only 5% of undergraduates were from 3 other nations. In the meantime, by 1958, the total number of students registered had grown fivefold, but there had been a 10% decrease in the female gender, as well as a decline from 50% to 14% in individuals from the surrounding region. After 50 years, the number of fresh students getting admission grew six times to 6377, while the female population in academic institutions reached its peak of 54%, and most students now came from faraway places, with more than one-quarter of freshmen coming from 98 foreign country.
The table
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shows
the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are getting into Bristol
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University
for the years 1928, 1958 and 2008.
Overall
, the
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number
of pupils taking admission into the
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university
increased
exponentially
and there were a noticeable rise in the proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
came from abroad during the 80 years period.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
218 scholars
were admitted
to the
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university
in 1928, with 42 percent of them being female and 58 percent of them being male, with half of them coming from within
Writing for an international audience? Consider adding the metric equivalent.
30 miles
of the
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university
campus.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
5% of undergraduates were from 3 other nations. In the meantime, by 1958, the total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
registered had grown fivefold,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there had been a 10% decrease in the female gender,
as well
as a decline from 50% to 14% in individuals from the surrounding region.

After 50 years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
getting admission grew six times to 6377, while the female population in academic institutions reached its peak of 54%, and most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
came from faraway places, with more than one-quarter of freshmen coming from 98 foreign country.
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IELTS academic The table below gives information about student enrolments at Britol University

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
186 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
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    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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