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The bar graph shows the expenditure on health and education in UAE in the years 1985,1990,1993. Write a summary of the expenditure describing the information in 150 words

The bar graph shows the expenditure on health and education in UAE in the years 1985, 1990, 1993. Write a summary of the expenditure describing the information in 150 words wKqol
The bar graph illustrates the money spent on health and education in UAE for three years. As an overview, the expenditure on education was at peak in the year 1993 however, it was the least for health in 1990. In terms of education, there was an increasing trend. In 1985, 10% of the total amount was used for educating people which further raised to exactly 14% in 1990. There was a slight increase of about 1% in 1993 ( 15% ). On the other hand, the amount paid to the health sector showed a fluctuation in the rates. For instance, in 1990, about 7% was spent where as for the two years 1985 and 1993, the expenditure was 7. 9% and exactly 10% respectively. The graph depicts that huge amount was spent on education than on health.
The bar graph illustrates the money spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the UAE".
in UAE
for three years.

As an overview, the expenditure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
was at peak in the year 1993
however
, it was the least for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
in 1990.

In terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, there was an increasing trend. In 1985, 10% of the total amount was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which
further
raised to exactly 14% in 1990. There was a slight increase of about 1% in 1993
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
15%
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
.

On the other hand
, the amount paid to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
sector
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a fluctuation in the rates.
For instance
, in 1990, about 7%
was spent
Did you mean "whereas"?
where as
for the two years 1985 and 1993, the expenditure was 7. 9% and exactly 10%
respectively
. The graph depicts that huge amount
was spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
than on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.

IELTS academic The bar graph shows the expenditure on health and education in UAE in the years 1985, 1990, 1993. Write a summary of the expenditure describing the information in 150 words

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
137 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
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  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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