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The table below gives information about rail transport in four countries in 2007

The table illustrates the information about rail transport in United Kingdom, United States, Japan and Italy in 2007. The highest performance at the quantity of passengers was depicted by Japan. Also the tremendous difference among other countries in passenger distance per head of population showed Japan with figure at 1980. However at the amount of carried cargo the leader was USA with 2820 billions of tons. The little difference at amount of passengers used rail transport was between UK and Italy, with 5. 9 and 5. 5, respectively. USA experienced the lowest figure at less high than 0, (0. 3%). Almost the same performance was illustrated at passenger kilometres per person. About 770 and 780 relatively by UK and Italy, and USA with the figure at 80. Although at previous parametres the leader was Japan, the highest amount of carried cargo was seen in USA by 2820 billions of tons. The rest of countries demonstrated almost the same numbers at this figures around 22. The highest proportions at quantity of passenger and distance was illustrated by Japan, however at the amount of cargo the leader was USA.
The table illustrates the information about rail transport
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the United Kingdom”.
in United Kingdom
, United States,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
and Italy in 2007. The highest performance at the quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
was depicted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the tremendous difference among other countries in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
distance per head of population
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
at 1980.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of carried cargo the leader was USA with
Use a singular form of the numeral here: “2820 billion”.
2820 billions of
tons.

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
difference at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passengers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
rail transport was between UK and Italy, with 5. 9 and 5. 5,
respectively
. USA experienced the lowest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
at less high than 0, (0. 3%). Almost the same performance
was illustrated
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
Possible spelling mistake. ‘kilometres’ is British English.
kilometres
per person. About 770 and 780
relatively
by UK and Italy, and USA with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figure
at 80. Although at previous
Possible spelling mistake found.
parametres
the leader was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
, the highest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of carried cargo was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the USA”.
in USA
by
Use a singular form of the numeral here: “2820 billion”.
2820 billions of
tons. The rest of countries demonstrated almost the same numbers at
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘figures’. Did you mean “these”?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
figures
around 22.

The highest proportions at quantity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passenger
and distance
was illustrated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Japan
,
however
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
amount
of cargo the leader was USA.
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IELTS academic The table below gives information about rail transport in four countries in 2007

Academic
  American English
3 paragraphs
187 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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