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The table and pie represented the Ashdown museum visitors rate and number of visitors were satisfied results

The table and pie represented the Ashdown museum visitors rate and number of visitors were satisfied results 9lglx
The rendered table illustrate the data of the total number of people were visited to Ashdown museum during before and after refurbishment. The pie chart explain the survey result of people year before and after refurbishment. Overall, it depicts clearly the visitors number were increased and satisfied rate also enhanced after refurbishment. To begin with table in initial year before renovation visitors rate is 70, 000 and it was changes after renevation enhence to 92, 000. In the pie chart on left side of diagram very satisfied visitors are 15% and 52% were no response then it were double in very dissatisfied, Therefore 40℅ and 30% were people satisfied and dissatisfied. on the other hand, after renewation of ashdown museum as per the survey results 35% is accounted for very satisfied, However the satisfied rate also increased to as compared to previous year, and dissastified percentage decreased stable at 15%, the both dissatisfied and no response were retain an equal percentage 5%.
The rendered table illustrate the data of the total number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were visited
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ashdown
museum during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after refurbishment. The pie chart
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explain
the survey result of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and after refurbishment.

Overall
, it depicts
clearly
the visitors number
were increased
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
rate
also
enhanced after refurbishment.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with table in initial year
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
renovation visitors rate is 70, 000 and it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
after
Possible spelling mistake found.
renevation
Possible spelling mistake found.
enhence
to 92, 000. In the pie chart on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
side of diagram
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
visitors are 15% and 52% were no response then it were double in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dissatisfied,
Therefore
40℅ and 30% were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
and dissatisfied.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
on
the other hand, after
Possible spelling mistake found.
renewation
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
ashdown
museum as per the survey results 35%
is accounted
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
,
However
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfied
rate
also
increased to as compared to previous year, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
dissastified
percentage decreased stable at 15%, the both dissatisfied and no response
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
Consider using a past participle here: "retained".
retain
an equal percentage 5%.
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IELTS academic The table and pie represented the Ashdown museum visitors rate and number of visitors were satisfied results

Academic
  American English
4 paragraphs
162 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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