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The six pie charts provide the information about how much water was wasted for in a variety of aims during world's 6 places, which are North America, South America, Europe, Africa and South Asia by percentage

The six pie charts provide the information about how much water was wasted for in a variety of aims during world's 6 places, which are North America, South America, Europe, Africa and South Asia by percentage DVeek
Sevinch Student MZ, [01. 09. 21 17: 14] The six pie charts provide the information about how much water was wasted for in a variety of aims during world's 6 places, which are North America, South America, Europe, Africa and South Asia by percentage Overall, following to waste water in a large number, became agriculture using in Central Asia by the time water consumption in industrial using led to the lowest percentage of wasting Taken together, North America and Europe in industrial using, are composed of almost half of it, at the time South America wasted for till 10%. However in Agriculture use, South America spent water more than North America and Europe, as there was wasted for more than 30%. And domestic using of North America wasted less 2% than Europe, by the time South America spent more 6%than North Industrial using had a difference only 2%between Africa and Central Asia, but in domestic using there was barely same percentage on 7%, except for Africa, which composed of more than 2%. Agriculture occupied most part of spending of all of these 3 areas more than 80%
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sevinch
Student MZ, [01. 09. 21 17: 14]

The six pie charts provide the information about how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
was wasted
for in a variety of aims during world's 6 places, which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America, South America, Europe, Africa and South Asia by percentage

Overall
, following to waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in a large number, became agriculture using in Central Asia by the time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
consumption in industrial using led to the lowest percentage of wasting

Taken together,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America and Europe in industrial using,
are composed
of almost half of it, at the time South America wasted for till 10%.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in Agriculture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, South America spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America and Europe, as there
was wasted
for more than 30%. And domestic using of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
North
America wasted less 2% than Europe, by the time South America spent more 6%than North

Industrial using had a difference
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2%between Africa and Central Asia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in domestic using there was
barely
same percentage on 7%,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
except for
Africa, which composed of more than 2%. Agriculture occupied most part of spending of all of these 3 areas more than 80%
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IELTS academic The six pie charts provide the information about how much water was wasted for in a variety of aims during world's 6 places, which are North America, South America, Europe, Africa and South Asia by percentage

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
186 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
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    Include an introduction and conclusion
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    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
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    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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