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The result of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to capital cities of particular countries

The result of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to capital cities of particular countries yR1Lr
This line graph shows us the reasons for the movement of people to capital of different cities in the years from 2000 to 2015. As we can see here, the total number of votes in all directions is growing. The most popular reason is employment and the least one is adventure. According to the line chart, the main reasons for the move were employment and study, because their number of votes was much higher than others, from 2000 to 2015 the number of people who voted for employment increased from 60, 000 to 92, 000, and the number of votes for study in this interval of time increased by 25000 votes. As shown by the statistics, a small number of votes were given to the categories like family, friends and adventure, from 2000 to 2010, the change in the number of votes was only 10000. Between 2010 and 2015 the number of people who gave their votes for the employment category was fall by about 6000 votes, while the number of votes for studies jumped from 55000 to 89000! But the number of votes for the friends/family and adventure categories did not show significant changes, the number of their votes did not change much compared to the other two that we listed before. In general, this line graph shows the growth of votes over 15 years and four reasons for this or motivation by which we can tell why people have moved to the capital.
This line graph
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shows
us the
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reasons
for the movement of
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people
to capital of
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different
cities in the years from 2000 to 2015. As we can
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see
here, the total
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number
of
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votes
in all directions is growing. The most popular
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reason
is
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employment
and the least one is adventure. According to the line chart, the main
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reasons
for the
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move
were
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employment
and study,
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because
their
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number
of
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votes
was much higher than others, from 2000 to 2015 the
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number
of
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people
who voted for
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employment
increased from 60, 000 to 92, 000, and the
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number
of
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votes
for study in this interval of time increased by 25000
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votes
. As shown by the statistics, a
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small
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number
of
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votes
were
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given
to the categories like family, friends and adventure, from 2000 to 2010, the
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change
in the
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number
of
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votes
was
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only
10000. Between 2010 and 2015 the
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number
of
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people
who gave their
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votes
for the
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employment
category was fall by about 6000
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votes
, while the
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number
of
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votes
for studies jumped from 55000 to 89000!
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But
the
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number
of
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votes
for the friends/family and adventure categories did not
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show
significant
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changes
, the
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number
of their
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votes
did not
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change
much compared to the other two that we listed
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before
.
In general
, this line graph
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shows
the growth of
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votes
over 15 years and four
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reasons
for this or motivation by which we can
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tell
why
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people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
to the capital.
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IELTS academic The result of a survey giving the reasons why people moved to capital cities of particular countries

Academic
  American English
1 paragraphs
245 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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