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the rate of X disease in Someland from 1960 to 1995.

the rate of X disease in Someland from 1960 to 1995. aqAQP
The line graph gives information about the rate of X disease in Someland over a 35-years period from 1960 to 1995. Overall, the number of people affected of X disease in the late 1970s were the highest while in 1990 the number of people affected is dropped to zero. During the given period between 1960 and 1965, the number of cases was remained almost the same in between below 100 cases and just over 100 cases respectively. Then, the incidences have doubled to 200 cases in 1970. Over the next 5 years, the cases of X disease rose sharply and reached the peak at 500 and remained stable over the period before it started dropping. About 350 cases were reported in 1985. The cases in Someland then saw a dramatically dropped to zero in 1990 and the number continued to be the same until the end of the given period.
The line graph gives information about the rate of X disease in
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Someland
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over
a 35-years
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period
from 1960 to 1995.
Overall
, the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
of X disease in the late 1970s were the highest while in 1990 the
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number
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
is dropped
to zero.

During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
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period
between 1960 and 1965, the
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number
of cases
was remained
almost the same in between below 100 cases and
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just
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over
100 cases
respectively
. Then, the incidences have doubled to 200 cases in 1970.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Over
the
next
5 years, the cases of X disease rose
sharply
and reached the peak at 500 and remained stable
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over
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
dropping. About 350 cases
were reported
in 1985. The cases in
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Someland
then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a
dramatically
dropped to zero in 1990 and the
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number
continued to be the same until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
.
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IELTS academic the rate of X disease in Someland from 1960 to 1995.

Academic
  American English
2 paragraphs
150 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • ?
    Include an introduction and conclusion
  • ?
    Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • ?
    Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • ?
    Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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